


Friendly Kisses

by Milk_and_Egg



Series: Komaeda and Hinata’s story. [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, Denial, Developing Relationship, Kissing, M/M, Maybe a little OOC, Porn later maybe probably, Probably more characters, Romance, so many feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-11 11:26:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 38,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3325760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milk_and_Egg/pseuds/Milk_and_Egg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Komaeda Nagito is Hinata's best friend, and has been so since middle school. However it seems that everyone Hinata comes across tells him that Komaeda wants to be more than a best friend. </p><p>Of course they're wrong, right? No one knows Komaeda better than Hinata and Hinata is sure that everyone is wrong. He begins to re-think they're friendship when even Nanami, his second best friend and ex-girlfriend says that Komaeda has been acting a little weird lately.</p><p>A story about the progression of Hinata and Komaeda's relationship including all of the ups and downs.</p><p>UPDATE: I’m planning something risky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Best Friend, Komaeda.

My name is Hinata Hajime. I am a boy who is enrolled into the famous Hope's Peak Academy despite having no extraordinary talent. I used to be enrolled into the Prep school until I was offered to be moved into the academy itself due to some sort of experiment they were doing with the behavior of the 'Ultimate' students. I have no clue what the results of the experiments were but at least now I am free to attend Hope's Peak despite being talentless. 

I don't enjoy thinking about the differences between myself and my fellow students. Most of my classmates have reassured me that they will treat me equally compared to the rest of them. My class is like a big family, where sometimes we argue, but most of the time everyone respects each other and enjoys each other's company.

However one student didn't like me in the beginning. His name was Komaeda Nagito, the super lucky student. The first words Komaeda said to me were "Why would the Academy taint itself with someone who is so boring and talentless?" As someone who has a complex about being so useless, I was hurt by what he said. I thought about what he said constantly.

I would then ignore that student for weeks until one day during gym class I was hit in the face with a poorly thrown baseball. The clumsy ultimate nurse's frantic apologizing was the last thing I heard until I woke up in the nurse's office later that day.

When I woke up the first thing I saw was the messy white hair of the boy who was so rude to me on my first day in the academy. He looked down to me with his dull silver eyes. His face showed a small amount of concern for my well being, he might only be a little worried, but the worry was still there. Komaeda looked me up and down before asking "Are you alright, Hinata-kun?” 

I looked back at him baffled at the concern he had for a boring and talent less student like me. "Why are you here?"I asked completely forgetting about the question I was supposed to answer.

"Sorry if you're disappointed that someone as disgusting as me volunteered to carry you all the way to the nurse's office." Komaeda said looking down to the floor and yet still smiling to himself. I couldn't tell if he was disappointed or delighted at my words.

"No that's..." I didn't know how to respond to the statement. I gave the still smiling student a confused look expecting him to laugh at me and walk away, but Komaeda just kept smiling and staring like he was waiting for me to explain my obscure expression. "Don't you hate me?" I finally asked in a low tone.

Komaeda's smile wavered for a moment before replying with "No... We're the... same..." He said it slowly like he himself was confused with what he was saying. His smile was gone now and replaced with the same confused look I had a few seconds ago. "We're both talentless..." He said after about a minute passed.

I didn't understand what the boy across from me was trying to say. Was he trying to bring me down? Was he trying to bond with me? Hell maybe he was trying to bring himself down. "You're not talentless. You were invited here remember? Aren't you super lucky?" I questioned.

"What a worthless talent that is." Komaeda said more to himself than to me. "That 'talent' is more of a burden than a blessing. My parents are gone because of it. I was invited through a lottery; nobody invited me because I was special." Komaeda looked back to me and his smile returned. "We are both talentless. We are both a stepping stone for the hope of all of the students here." He seemed more confident now in what he was saying as he brought his eyes back to my face.

Oh no he brought up that word. Hope. Komaeda was obsessed with it and no one knew why. Every essay he had written had the word hope in it at least twenty times and the word despair at least five times. Once he started talking about it he wouldn't stop. Komaeda was the 'weirdo' of the class. Everyone had a different rumor about him, especially my 'soul friend' Souda. The mechanic always talked about how Komaeda was a nutcase. Souda once even tried to convince Nidai to tie him up because he was dangerous, he almost did until Koizumi and Sonia heard about it, the scolding went on for fifteen minutes. 

I always listened to the rumors, but I never fully believed them. I thought they were funny; they we so unrealistic and my negative outlook towards Komaeda at the time made them even funnier. Souda has told me things like: Komaeda could talk to the dead, Komaeda is planning to murder someone, or my personal favorite, Komaeda owns fifteen stray cats at his house. It's not like anyone hated Komaeda, but no one understood Komaeda and at that moment I understood him even less.

"Hinata-kun, the amount of hope you have is wonderful and confusing at the same time." Komaeda said snapping me out of my daydream. "You are certainly talentless, but you are not boring." Was that supposed to be a compliment? Komaeda still had a smile of his face, but it was less sinister looking than the previous smiles. 

"...Thank you?" Was the only thing I could say.

That was how I, Hajime Hinata met Nagito Komaeda. After the confusing conversation ended Komaeda escorted me back to my dorm room. With more smiles, Komaeda greeted me happily the next day during class and escorted me back to my room again after all of our daily classes. It was almost like our first meeting meant nothing. We continued this cycle all throughout middle school. We learned a lot about each other and by the end of our middle school life we've always anticipated seeing each other. However I still never fully understood Komaeda.

Currently the family-like class is in our second year in high school. Everyone is closer than ever and a lot has happened throughout the years. My dorm was now two rooms down from Komaeda's and we couldn't be happier about it. Souda is still my 'soul friend' and we've had a lot of adventures together, but that tale's for another time. 

I have only ever had one relationship and that was with Chiaki Nanami, the super high school level gamer. We have dated for about three months before we broke up. We realized that we would rather be friends than date after three months of still acting like friends and nothing romantic ever happening during those three months. She is my second best friend, right after Komaeda. Komaeda, Nanami, and I always hang out with each other and go to Nanami's dorm to play video games. Of course Komaeda and I never win, but at least we all have fun.

Today was Sunday and there were no classes today. I was still sound asleep in my bed when I heard my television turn on. I opened my eyes slowly and looked at my alarm clock, 7:30 AM. I groaned and turned towards the figure watching my television. "Ko, it’s still morning go home." I said stuffing my face back into the pillow. 

"Sorry Hinata-kun, I can't hear you." Komaeda said. I could hear the smirk in his voice. 

I lifted my head off of the pillow with a grunt and sat up. I ran a hand through my hair and scrunched up my face in disgust at how much my hair was sticking up this morning. 

"Good morning Hinata-kun." The boy on the floor said with the same smile that he held most of his days.

"Yeah whatever." I despise how cheerful Komaeda always is in the morning. He always waltzes in here much before the time we're supposed to get up just so he can say good morning to me first. Sometimes I regret giving Komaeda my spare room key. We both gave each other keys to our dorms just in case something were to happen to one of us. It was only supposed to be for emergencies, but Komaeda uses it when he pleases, which other than in the morning, is totally at random.

"Do you want me to go get us some breakfast?" Komaeda asked while turning himself to fully face me, still on the floor of my dorm room. I could only see his dark silhouette with the television on brightly behind him.

"No, just give me a few minutes and I'll be ready." I replied then proceeded to take off my night clothes. I shrugged off my shirt without much thought. It was no big deal to change in front of Komaeda; I've done it plenty of times before. However Komaeda would always turn away, but this morning seemed different.

Komaeda just stared at me with a blank expression as I was changing. I gave him a playful smirk. "Do you like what you see, Komaeda-kun~?" I raised my voice to make myself sound like a girl while swinging my hips. I never call Komaeda 'Komaeda-kun'.

Komaeda's eyes widened as the blood rushed to his face. He turned away swiftly, eyes darting everywhere and replied with "No... I mean I do... I mean I don't think you're..." He struggled to answer the statement correctly.

I laughed and put my shirt on. "Don't hurt yourself, Ko." I said still smirking at how frantically his eyes were moving around my room. 

Komaeda gave up and sighed. His eyes calming down and trailing to the floor while his face returned to its natural color. 

Once I finished dressing and fixing my hair Komaeda dragged me to the cafeteria for breakfast. The cafeteria is usually packed with the students. Each class usually went into their own corners and preferred mingling with each other than other students from different classes. The only exception was that Tsumiki sometimes went over to the class below us to talk to the super high school level model. Everyone in our class could see that the clumsy nurse had a crush on her.

Most of the class was sitting in the usual spot eating breakfast. I walked over to my usual seat with Komaeda in tow. I sat in between Nanami and Komaeda with Souda across from me. Next to Souda were Sonia and Tanaka; on the other side of Souda were Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama. They all stopped their conversations to look toward us. 

"Good morning you two!" Sonia said with her usual enthusiasm.

"Good morning Sonia" I replied. "It's almost 8 in the morning, why is everyone here?" 

"...To eat" Nanami replied after a short silence.

"No shit." Souda remarked slyly. "Hey Komaeda, did you just get done sucking Hinata's dick?" He laughed at his own joke.

"Not recently, no." Komaeda said with his trademark smile.

I groaned as I listened to Souda and Kuzuryuu's cackle at the almost innocent response. The rumors directed towards Komaeda have calmed down over the years, but they have been replaced with rumors of us fucking or kissing in between classes, which doesn't happen. I usually blow them off, but Komaeda always seems to be egging them on. I don't know if it's intentional or not, I don't think so.

After the particularly uneventful breakfast Souda approached me when Komaeda broke away from me to use the bathroom. "Hey Hinata."

"What do you want?"

"No need to be harsh, Hinata. I'm just wondering something."

"Hmm?"

"Did Komaeda sleep in your room last night?" Souda asked with his ever-present smirk on his face getting larger.

"No he didn't, asshole." I grumpily said my frown getting larger in contrast with Souda's smirk.

"I'm not being an asshole, Nanami said she seen you two leave your room together this morning." The pink haired boy said defensively.

"He always shows up in my room before breakfast."

"Oh?" Souda says with his voice rising in question.

"Oh my god, he just wakes me up in the morning." It was my turn to get defensive. I felt annoyed with all of this unnecessary questioning. I could feel the heat rising on my face, this is bad.

"Listen, everyone can see that Komaeda wants to get in your pants." Souda said with his smirk finally fading while he ran his hand through his hair.

"What? Who?" I was confused, by everyone he probably means our dumb friends.

"Literally everyone in this room." He said while gesturing to the rest of the cafeteria. His smirk returned when I raised my eyebrows.

"No..." I started but was then interrupted when Souda pulled Koizumi over.

"Hey Koizumi, who does Komaeda have a crush on?" Souda asked her with confidence.

"Oh Hinata of course." The photographer said pointing towards me.

"Thank you" Souda said as she walked away with a smile on her face.

"No, that's a running joke throughout the class; of course she would say that." I said pointing to the table where Koizumi sat.

"Alright then." Souda said walking away.

Just when I thought I was off the hook, Souda brought back some kid from the class right below ours. "Hey uh... Naegi-kun, right?" The boy nodded. "Who has a crush on this kid?" Souda asked him while pointing to me.

"Uh what's his name...? The guy with the white hair." The boy started to say.

"Okay thanks." Souda said shoving the student back to where he was sitting. Souda then batted his eyelashes at me like a girl who has a crush on a boy much older than her. He always did that when he thought he proved something. 

I didn't say anything in response to his dumb gesture. If I did I felt like I would just make it worse than it already was. I turned around and walked away from the pink haired mechanic.

"Hinata! Come on now it was just a joke... Please don't be mad at me." I continued to hear the pleading until I exited the cafeteria. I wasn't mad. I just didn't want to put up with this right now.

I turned the corner still fuming over the dumb argument. I didn't notice my best friend in front of me and bumped right into him, knocking the both of us over. I made an 'Oomf' noise as I was sent backwards. Komaeda landed on his ass in front of me, who landed on my back.

I sat up rubbed my head and looked to see who I ran into. "Sorry, Ko. I didn't notice you there." I apologized while still rubbing my head.

Komaeda smiled and stood up. "Ah Hinata-kun don't worry about it, I'm sure you didn't mean to run into someone as disgusting as me." He held out a hand for me, while still smiling despite his self-loathing.

I took his hand and stood up with the help of my best friend. "Quit talking about yourself like that or you know what'll happen." I frowned.

Komaeda's smile fell as he took those words into consideration. Every time Komaeda called himself trash or disgusting I always threatened to take him to counseling. This was the first time he's said something bad about himself in a week so he probably thought he was doing pretty good. 

Komaeda forgot to let go of my hand and I seemed to have forgotten also. I looked down and noticed the forgotten hand-holding after about thirty seconds of awkward silence. I let go, but Komaeda kept holding. He was looking at me with that same blank face he had this morning. I gave him a confused look and tried to slowly take my hand away, but he didn't budge. Komaeda was lost in thought as he started to stroke my hand with his thumb. He's acting weird. Weirder than usual.

I stared at the mess of hands and thought about what Souda said. There's no way he's right about Komaeda. I have known Komaeda forever now; Komaeda wouldn't fall in love with someone like me. I am talentless after all. As soon as I thought about how talent less I was Komaeda let go of my hand and let both of our hands droop to their owner's sides. 

"Hinata-kun..." Komaeda started to say he seemed nervous and twitchy. He seems to have been off like this a lot lately. Last night he seemed twitchy over hugging me. He passed his chemistry test and needed to celebrate and he chose the nearest person to hug, me of course. "Hinata-kun... I... I am truly in love... with the hope that's inside of you.” He breathed out in almost a whisper. His face contorted into an almost panicked look until he seemed to have calmed himself and smiled again. This smile seemed unnatural compared to the previous ones I have seen in the past.

That was pretty fucking scary. I swore I thought he was going to say he loved me. I didn't realize that I was holding my breath until I ran out of air. I breathed out and back in thinking about what he just said. I looked up to reply to him, but he wasn't there. Where did he go? I looked around but he seemed to have disappeared. 

I walked forward with no place in mind. I just needed to go somewhere, I don't know where. I just needed to think. He loved my...hope? Believe it or not, he has said that before, but he was never nervous when complimenting my 'hope' before. What makes this time different. He didn't love me or anything. I was sure of it. Komaeda wasn't gay... was he? I wouldn't have problem with that at all, it's just that I never knew. He never talked to me about how hot other girls were, nor did he ever talk about dating girls. He never talked about guys that way either. He never talked about romance it seems. I have never noticed until now. Huh. Maybe he wasn't straight, but he can't be gay either. What is he?

"What's wrong Hinata-kun?" I heard a voice that I wasn't expecting to hear.

"Nanami? What are you doing here?" I asked the gamer who wasn't looking at me. She was too preoccupied in a handheld game she was playing.

"...I live here" She replied with a playful smile eyes still glued to her game.

I looked up. I've seemed to have stumbled into the girl's dorms. "Oh."

She giggled. "What's wrong?" she repeated.

"Do you think... Komaeda..." I sighed. I wasn't thinking straight. Komaeda always acts weird, maybe he has always acted this way and I never noticed.

"Do I think Komaeda has been acting strange lately?" She asked herself as if I said it instead. She thought to herself for a moment tearing her eyes away from the game for a brief moment before replying with "Yes he has been acting strange lately." She finally said and pulled her eyes back to the game.

"Really?" I asked her. I was more shocked than confused. I wasn't the only one who noticed it seems.

"Yes... But it's only around you... I know everyone has said this jokingly...But I think he likes you. In more than a best friends kind of way." She said to me with caution in her voice. She seemed scared that I would run away when she said that. 

I looked at her blankly. I didn't want to hear that, but I knew it was coming. I still didn't believe it, but I guess the best thing to do was ask him myself, right?

I forgot to thank Nanami because ran back to my room faster than I had anticipated. I shut my door while panting. Why did I run? I don't know. What was I doing? Oh, looking for Komaeda. I walked over to my desk and sat down, still panting. I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Komaeda. "Ko come over" I didn't feel like explaining any further through text so I sat and waited.

He didn't respond, but he looked at it. What an asshole. This was fifteen minutes ago. I started browsing the internet ten minutes ago. I was agitated at everything and everyone. This was always a good way to blow off steam. I had given up hope that he would show up. Of course I'm always wrong though. 

I didn't hear the knock at first. I was too engrossed in my own agitation to realize the sound until a second, louder knock approached the last one. I spun around to face the door quickly. Probably too quickly to seem casual. I got out of the chair even quicker and grabbed the handle of the door before yanking it open. Komaeda was in the process of another knock while I opened it probably also too quickly. His eyes were wide and his mouth formed a confused o. Yeah way too quickly.

"I'm here like you asked, Hinata-kun." The boy said bringing the smile back to his face. He raised his hand to head and brushed the stray cotton-white strands of hair that fell onto his face as he walked into the dorm like it was his own. 

I closed the door behind him slowly this time. He stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. His head was tilted to the side in order to seem like he was asking me why he was here.

I walked towards Komaeda and stopped at a safe distance away from him. I opened my mouth to say something, but then found myself closing it again after a few seconds. What should I say to him? Let's start with a safe question like 'How are you today?' yeah that sounds good.

"Komaeda... are you gay?" Fuck! I didn't mean to ask that right away. I quickly lowered my head in shame at what I just said. What if he's mad? Oh shit, nice going Hajime, what an amazing friend you are.

"... I'm not sure." I heard a smooth quiet voice say in front of me. I looked back up in surprise to Komaeda who seemed to be deep in thought himself. His head even farther tilted to the side than before. 

"Okay." That was all I could say before we were drenched in awkward silence. I looked back to the floor. This was going nowhere.

"Hinata-kun, did you really ask me to come over so you could ask me that question?" Komaeda practically giggled at how I jumped in surprise at his sudden question

"No..." That wasn't the real question I wanted to ask. I just don't know if I'm ready for whatever answer he gives me to the 'real' question. If he 'likes' me how am I possibly going to react to that? I don't know what I could even do about that. I can't just turn down my best friend's love for me... Would I turn him down? I have never thought about dating him before. I always played off the relationship jokes and never thought about seriously liking him in a dating type of way... What if he doesn't like me? I would seem like a freak for even bringing it up. Maybe I can play it off like a joke, everyone else does. If he didn't like me... would I feel disappointed? What am I saying? I like girls! I've dated Nanami for three months... but we never kissed or even thought about kissing... or even hand-holding...

"Hinata-kun! Wake up!" Komaeda practically shouted in my face with his hands around his mouth as if I were far away. He snapped me out of my own little world and scared me in the process. He giggled again at my jumping. "Hinata-kun you're acting weird today." He said calming down his giggle fit. He almost never laughed loudly it was always small giggles. 

The only time I have ever heard his laugh was when he was going on about hope one day and I guess he got too into it. It was loud and a little scary. I like the giggles a lot better. They're sort of lighthearted and kind of cute... Oh no, please don't start thinking about Ko like that.

Before I got to deep in my thoughts I looked at his face trying to remember what he said before I thought about his giggles. "Sorry, I just don't feel very good today." I only partially lied. 

His face twisted into a frown as he stepped even closer to me. "Wh-what are you-" I was involuntarily cut off when he pressed his palm against my forehead it felt cool against my ever-growing hot face. I couldn't help but lean into it. I looked down to the floor planning an escape route away from here.

"You do feel a little warm Hinata-kun. Do you want me to take you to the nurse?" He asked sincerely. His face had full concern in it this time, unlike the very first time I was hurt in front of him.

"No..." I stopped and took in a deep breath before asking him what I really wanted to. "Komaeda do you like me? In a more than friends type of way?" I was surprised I got through that without stuttering. I looked back towards the floor afraid of the answer.

"..."

I panicked at his silence. I really did it this time didn't I? I closed my eyes tighter than need and tried to come up with an excuse. "ImeaneveryoneinourclasssaysyoudoandI-"

"Am I truly worthy of loving someone like you?" The question had stopped me in the middle of my jumbled mess of a sentence. I looked back up to face him. He was smiling and had his gaze to the ground, much like he did while explaining why we were the same in that nurse's office all those years ago. "I mean you are talentless, but even so I feel like even you are too good for trash like me." He laughed to himself, the kind I don't like. His hand went almost violently into his constant messy hair. 

I hate him when he's like this. He's confusing and never seems to say what I want to hear. I stare at him with a mix of agitation and curiosity I can feel my hands grip into fists. "Komaeda, please skip the cryptic bullshit and please answer me honestly." I knew that if I let this continue we would get nowhere.

"...Hinata-kun." He stopped his almost-rant and stared down to me. The nervousness came back like it had earlier today as he refused to look at my face. "… I have... conflicting feelings. If I get any closer to you, I could hurt you dearly. I..." He sighed and lowered his hands from his face. He finally looked at my face. His dull silver eyes met my equally dull brown ones. "Every time I see you, I think I'm out of control. I do not know why I feel this way, but it's like nothing I've ever experienced before. I think about you every second of every day. So yes, I 'like you' so to speak, but please, don't try to become more than friends with trash like me, for our own sake." When he finished talking he looked like he could collapse at any second. The nerves didn't seem to go away and he immediately looked away from me once again. He looked like a cornered animal about to be eaten by a predator.

It took me a minute to realize what he just said and another to think about the meaning to those words. He likes me... In a way I knew already. I just didn't want to believe it. Why me? I'm talentless. However he did say to not try to be more than friends with him. Maybe this will work out, like this never happened. I wish my heart would stop beating so hard already. Does Komaeda even know his own feelings? I looked over to him and smiled in understanding. "We're still cool, right Ko?"

He smiled back in relief as a less stressful sigh escaped his mouth. "Of course, Hinata-kun." 

His smile never looked as sincere as it does now. It makes me smile just looking at it. Still smiling I leaned forward without a single thought in my mind and gently pressed my lips against his. His lips are surprisingly soft. Wait... Why the fuck am I kissing him!? I felt him tense as soon as I made contact with him. This isn't what either of us wants, right? I almost violently pulled back and looked at Komaeda. His eyes were wide and he brought his hand up to his mouth to cover it. He didn't say anything just gave me a surprised and accusing stare. We just agreed to stay friends and I just teased him like this! I didn't even think about kissing him, it just seemed to feel natural to do so. 

"Komaeda! Shit! I'm sorry I wasn't... I didn't mean to..." I panicked I didn't know what to do. Why did I do that? That was our first kiss. Neither of us has kissed anyone else before.

He calmed himself down a bit slower than he usually does and smiled to me. "I have hoped that this moment would come for a while now..." He said to himself as his eyes glanced upward. When he brought his gaze back to me he said very simply "It's okay Hinata-kun, it was only a friendly kiss after all right?" He seemed to be making a point instead of trying to reassure either of us.

A friendly kiss? What the hell is that?


	2. Friend Kisses

I stood in silence at Komaeda's choice of words. I could feel my eyebrows furrowing in confusion. My name is Hinata Hajime and I have just kissed my best friend for apparently no real reason.

He seemed to have noticed my apparent misunderstanding and put his hands up in a defense-like manor. "Don't friends kiss as well as couples?" Was he joking? He looked like he was serious.

I gave him a look to try and tell him that what he said was ridiculous but he continued to smile at me as if nothing was wrong. I gave up trying to wordlessly correct him and shook my head. "No they don't. Only people who are dating kiss." I said after he took none of my hints.

It was his turn to give a confused glance in my direction. He crossed his arms across his chest and his confusion turned into wariness. "Then why did you kiss me?" he was quiet as he said it. It was a simple question, but when he said it I could feel my heart speed up for a second. 

"I... don't know. I haven't even noticed I kissed you until..." I put my hands in my face to hide whatever I was feeling at the moment. How should I know why? Why should he complain about it, he likes me doesn't he? I sighed trying not to get angry with the situation. First Komaeda confesses his true feelings to me and then I kiss him. This was just too overwhelming for me. 

"Well since we are not dating then it was just a friendly kiss, right?" I heard Komaeda say sternly. He seemed so confident. I lifted my head back up to see the smile has returned to his face. 

I groaned as my head fell again. I gave up. "Sure 'friend kiss' whatever. Let's please forget this ever happened." It was only noon, but I already felt like I wanted to go to sleep. Komaeda was A-okay and I'll get over it. Everything will be alright. I glanced at him for a second. He didn't have his prominent smile anymore, but it was replaced with concern. 

"Hinata-kun, did you not like kissing me?" His face was still showed his concern after asking his question. Was that really what he was worried about the most? He never seizes to amaze me. 

I made the most disappointed face I could. "The kiss never happened, remember?" I kept my voice stern.

He seemed taken aback by my response to his question. He lowered his eyes in shame. "You don't understand Hinata-kun. I have wanted to know how your lips felt ever since we were in middle school. That will not be an easy thing to forget." 

I felt my cheeks heat up. This was like the fifth time today I blushed like an idiot. He's liked me for that long? Why hasn't anyone noticed until now? I opened my mouth to say something but before I could he started up again.

"Kissing someone as disgraceful as me must have been horrifying for you. I don't even know why I asked you if you liked it, Hinata-kun. Nobody would like kissing garbage like me... Oh I feel so ashamed, that kiss must have brought you into great despair. " He hugged himself while looking angry towards himself for 'bringing despair towards others'. 

"No Komaeda, the stupid kiss didn't bring me any despair. So please stop talking." I said this with a puff of my breath. When he gets like this, which is usually rare these days, it's best to just shut him up before he goes over the edge. It's kind of surprising that he's been like this twice in one day. 

His eyes widened as his grin drooped and he went quiet. He opened his mouth and brought his hand up in the air and it just hovered for a few seconds until he started talking again. "Then did it bring you hope?" He asked gently.

"It didn't bring me anything. Please keep your mouth shut for at least ten seconds." I just don't get what the big deal is with hope or despair. I get that this is 'Hope's Peak Academy' but that doesn't mean anyone needs to worship the word hope itself. 

He seemed to have obeyed my request to stay silent. He quietly sat down on my bed and turned toward the window. His arms were still crossed and his smile was still gone. I had an arguement with myself before deciding whether or not it was a good idea to sit next to him. I decided to plop myself down next to him on the bed despite my inner protests. I sat a small distance away from him and I'm not really sure why. I just felt like maybe we needed some space.

"Are you okay, Ko?" I received no response of course. He just kept staring out of the window. 

I sighed impatiently. "You can talk now." After I said that he exhaled deeply as if he had been holding his breath. 

Komaeda turned to look at me and smiled again. "When will be the next time we kiss?" He asked sincerely. 

I stared at him blankly. On the inside I was screaming. Why does he keep bringing it up? He knows too damn well that I want to forget about it. Was this a joke? Is Souda around here snickering while recording us or some shit like that? "What are you talking about?" Was the only thing I could say to him.

He tilted his head to the side while he was thinking about something. After about a second his head snapped back to place so fast I'm surprised he didn't get whiplash. "Okay... Hinata-kun we're each other's best friend, correct?" His hands frantically moved around as he talked as if to show what he was saying in case I didn't understand. I nodded slowly at his question. His smile widened as he continued. "As such great friends we should be able to express that fondness in a way that shouldn't be considered weird to the both of us. We have already kissed once so it shouldn't be weird now, right?" As he finished his proposition he lowered his hands back down to the bed. His facial expression was the same he always had except I can see it quiver as if he was scared that I would punch him.

I sort of feel like calling Komaeda out on his feelings is turning into a train wreck of an idea. Was he asking me to kiss him again? Didn't he say that he didn't want to get any closer to me than he already is? Maybe I never really knew my best friend after all. How does he think I feel about this? How _do_ I feel about this...? I closed my eyes and tried to keep calm. Without opening my eyes again I asked him "Didn't you say a little while ago that we shouldn't become more than friends?"

"Of course! Just remember that if you do choose to kiss me again then those kisses will be friendly kisses... because we aren't dating each other." He reassured me while smiling to himself. 

"That's not the..." I stopped and ran my hands down my face. It was time to put an end to this. "I'm not gay, Komaeda." His smile fell. He put his hand to his chin as he seemed to be thinking.

"...Are you sure?"

"Yes why wouldn't I be?"

"Have you ever fallen in love with someone before?" Komaeda's voice dropped as he was trying to prove his point.

"... Nana-"

"You have never kissed her though, but you have kissed me. Isn't that a little funny, Hinata-kun?" I cringed at what he said. He smirked as he knew he had hit a weak spot in me.

It was like he was accusing me of a crime. He knew I would bring up Nanami. He knew that he could twist this conversation around instantly. "I wasn't even thinking properly when I kissed you!" I practically shouted at him.

He remained calm at how loud I've raised my voice. "What were you thinking about before then?" 

"You of course and all of this madness happening right now." I felt my entire body slump over after I said that and I covered my face with my hands in shame because I knew what was coming next.

"You thought about me before you kissed me, weird." He said sarcastically, smirk still present.

I was quiet as I was contemplating what he was actually doing. I don't even know what's going on at this point. He was certainly trying to tell me that I was attracted to guys. I'm not though. I mean I always thought girls were pretty attractive. I think Nanami's pretty cute and really nice, Sonia's pretty, Tsumiki's cute I guess. I never once looked at a guy and thought, 'Wow! Look at that boy, he's so cute!'

I know for sure I'm not gay. I then took a long look at Komaeda to prove my own point. His face had a slight frown at my silence to his statement. I looked at his mess that he calls his hair. It's always all over the place and sticks up in various directions. It's fluffy, and soft too sometimes his bed head is so crazy that he needs my help to tame all of that hair. I like the feeling of his hair; it's so different compared to mine. 

Then I looked at his eyes and his face all together. His eyes were a little far away for me to get a good look at them, but I already know what they looked like.  
His eyes were a gray-ish silver color and they sparkled when in a dark environment. Komaeda always called his eyes ugly, but I'm a little jealous of them. My eyes are a boring light brown while his are unique and pretty. The rest of his face matched his eyes. His paleness just makes his eyes sparkle more, it suited him nicely. Despite smiling so much his mouth was rather small and cute. He never really says much unless he feels like he needs to. I've since gotten used to his silence.

Then I moved down to the rest of him. He was quite scrawny, but despite that he does pretty well in gym class. Like I said before he's really pale, however he always seems to burn in the sun but he doesn't tan at all. It's like his body refuses to darken. It doesn't look bad on him though. His sense of fashion is... well I guess in a school like this you can't judge someone on what they wear. Everyone dresses completely different from one another it seems. The only time anyone really looks similar is when we all wear the uniform during classes.

After my 'investigation' I looked back to his face. He was still confused as to why I'm not saying anything. See? Not gay. I just think he's really pretty for a boy. Prettier than most boys actually. I think that Souda could be pretty too if he didn't dye his hair pink, and maybe Kuzuryuu too if he were taller... oh shit. Did I just call three boys 'pretty'? That's okay though right? I mean if you don't admire the looks of someone of the same gender then you yourself don't know how to look good... right? 

"Hinata-kun are you alright? You don't look so good..." Komaeda asked more concerned than curious now his eyelashes fluttering as he talked. Fuck he's really pretty. I swear he didn't look this pretty a second ago. What am I talking about? He's... well a boy and I'm a boy too. I shook my head to try and rid of the thoughts.

"I'm fine I just... Did you do something different with your hair today?" I asked trying to convince myself he didn't get any prettier.

He raised a hand to his head and felt it in confusion. "No I didn't, does it look different?"

"Maybe. I don't know I think I'm a little light-headed right now." I said leaning my head on my hand.

"Do you want me to leave?" He asked looking down to me as I leaned into my own hand even further. His smile still hasn't returned. I can hear it in his voice.

Maybe it would be best if he left me to my own problems. I feel like I have a lot of thinking to do. "Can you... please?" I asked as politely as I could at the moment. 

Komaeda smiled and nodded lightly. He lifted himself up and walked towards the door, opening it much slower than I had when he first arrived.

"K-Komaeda, wait!" I said jumping to my feet. 

He turned towards me curiously. Before he could mutter a single syllable I lunged forward and crashed my lips into his. I heard our teeth clack at the force. I felt my bottom lip split open. It wasn't the most romantic kiss known to man. It hurt. We were obviously still amateurs when it came to kissing because none of us knew what to do other than pull back at the pain. So we did just that. Ouch. My lips hurt worse when Komaeda's lips aren't on them. This time I was the one who put their hand to their mouth. I felt a small amount of liquid, blood. My eyes squinted at the pain.

This time I thought it through before I kissed him. Weird, right? Well I guess it wasn't too planned out given the outcome of the little event. It was kind of a test to see if maybe I liked him, was attracted to him, or maybe to see if I liked boys. The results this time remain inconclusive due to an injury. I looked up to face the subject of the experiment. He looked shocked with his mouth was slightly agape. He didn't look as pained as me. His lips were red in one spot. That must be where I bled on him. Whoops, my bad.

"Was that another friendly kiss?" He asked quietly bringing his hand to his chin as if he were interrogating me.

"Yeah, it was." I said just as quietly. I feel like I would be blushing if I wasn't bleeding into my own hand.

"Are you okay?" He giggled as he asked; his eyes partially closing during his laughter.

"I'll live." I replied smiling back to him.

"Next time Hinata-kun please be more careful." Komaeda said still smiling almost excited as he turned around and walked to his dorm almost skipping as he walked.

I smiled at his grin while closing my door. I slugged forward and fell flat on my bed. Now I'm the one with conflicted feelings. I just don't want to put up with them right now though. I closed my eyes and pulled on my covers. Today I learned that I might be just a little bit gay.

I awoke from my nap to crunching sounds. I didn't open my eyes immediately, maybe the sound would go away and I could get five more minutes of sleep. I then heard something that sounded like glass clinking followed by more crunching sounds. I knew I wasn't going back to sleep at this point. 

I rolled over and squinted my eyes at the sound. My television was on, but it was quiet, but that's not what caught my eye first. That would be the mess of white hair leaning against my bed on the floor. Was this some sort of dream, some weird self-exploration dream? I bit my finger. I always did that to see if I'm dreaming. It hurt so I'm not still sleeping.

I sat up slowly. Komaeda had noticed that I have woken up and turned his head to face me. He didn't say anything just raised his hand to wave at me. "Good morning Hinata-kun" He said after a few seconds of silence. He then scooped another spoonful of whatever he had into his mouth. Was that cereal?

"What time is it, Ko?" I groaned to the pale boy.

He looked around for a second before replying with "About eight."

"In the morning?"

"At night." he said taking another bite.

"Night? Then why are you here? And why do you have that?" The cafeteria closes at ten, but the kitchen closes at eight and they stop serving food at seven-thirty. Our dorms don't come with a kitchen or places to store food, and I know he doesn't have a mini fridge.

He looked down to his bowl and then back up to me. "I'm hungry." Was his simple answer. 

I sighed as I gave up my questioning. I looked to see what he was watching, some sort of game show. Ko doesn't have a television in his room so he always mooches off of mine, but he usually tells me when he's coming over.

"How long have you been here?" 

"Maybe ten minutes." More crunching followed.

I stayed silent. Is it over? Are we still just friends? Was all of the kissing part of a different dream? No that was real, I can still feel my lip throbbing. I wonder if Komaeda has told anybody. He doesn't usually talk to anyone without being spoken to, the only exceptions being me and Nanami. He better not have told anyone about the kisses. "Ko, did you tell anyone..."

After a little bit of munching he turned back towards me and tilted his head. "About what?"

I'm going to take that as a no, but I might as was settle his curiosity. "The kiss." I said lowering my gaze

"Which one?" he asked innocently.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "It doesn't matter which one."

"I didn't say anything about it. Was I supposed to?" He asked looking into the bowl while swirling the spoon around it.

"No. I would prefer it if you don't let anyone know about it." I said in a stern tone of voice to make sure he understands how I feel about the situation.

"Because they wouldn't understand what a 'friendly kiss' is, right?" He said with a smile straightening his head back up.

I didn't even try to argue. "Sure." 

He smiled a little wider at me confirming his suspicion. He turned around and put his now-empty bowl onto a small table I kept by my bed. Afterwards he turned his attention back to the television.

"You aren't going to take that stuff back to the cafeteria?" I asked him while swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. I furrowed my eyes to show my annoyance.

"I will a little later." He said while gently patting a spot next to him.

I sat where he was patting and turned my attention towards the screen. He wasn't watching anything special, just the same game show. I wasn't really paying attention after about a minute of watching someone running around on platforms.

I guess it was time to think about my feelings. It's really strange, I'm usually an open book and my feelings are almost always simple. However when it comes to romance I don't know what to think. When I was previously with Nanami we were never romantic when we were around each other. I guess that's strange, but neither of us brought up the topic of being more romantic. We just hung out like we normally did outside of the relationship. Maybe I just never wanted to be romantic with her in the first place. That would be strange considering I was the one to ask her to date me.

Maybe I like boys as well as girls. When I kissed Komaeda I felt my heart jump through hoops. Well maybe I don't like all boys, maybe just Komaeda. No wait... Komaeda is my best friend, not my boyfriend or anything like that. As soon as I thought of the word 'boyfriend' I felt a shiver go down my spine. That's weird. It's weird admitting to yourself that dating a boy wouldn't be so bad. I expected my entire world to collapse, but I'm still here. I feel that telling others that I might like boys should wait though. Komaeda's convinced that he knows I like boys so it shouldn't be a surprise to him, Nanami I think wouldn't mind, Souda would probably laugh and say he knew it or some bullshit. Ah whatever that can wait for another day.

I felt something smooth on top of my hand during my thinking, but I paid no attention to it. I felt like now would be a good time to check that out. I turned my head downwards to see Ko's hand on top of mine. Have his hands always been this soft? So many things I have never paid attention to when hanging out with Komaeda. I decided to be adventurous for once in my life and flipped my hand around to grab his as well. I felt his hand tense. I turned my head back to the television still grasping his hand and pretended like I didn't even know I was doing it. Here we are two male best friends holding hands nothing strange to see here. 

I'm getting pretty good at hiding my embarrassment. All of my focus was on trying to not let my hand tremble. I could feel Komaeda's hand starting to get sweaty. He was nervous again. I'm pretty sure he was worried about scaring me away this time. I smiled to myself a little proud that I can make him so nervous.

"Hinata-kun... are you trying to humor me?" He asked softly. I turned my head to see him glancing toward the floor and his unoccupied hand is his messy hair.

"No... I thought this was 'friendly hand holding'" I said with a smile trying to get his accusing expression to disappear. 

He glanced up at my face with disappointment. After about three whole seconds his face contorted into a grin as he giggled. "By 'humor me' I didn't mean for you to make me laugh." He said gripping harder onto my hand.

I smiled at my successful attempt to make him happy. I laughed a little myself before explaining my reasoning. "I'm sorry if you think I'm making fun of you. I'm just really confused at the moment... and I'm just following my heart wherever it says I should go." I didn't realize how cheesy that sounded until I finished talking.

However cheesy it sounded he seemed pleased with that answer. He let go of my hand and patted me on my shoulder. "Sometimes I wonder why I love you, but times like these make me regret ever doubting how I feel." He said softly while showing that genuine smile that I love looking at.

I felt my cheeks heat up immediately as my eyes felt like they doubled in size. I could also feel my heart rate go twice the speed it normally goes. He never said that he loved me before. Well I only knew about his feelings for less than 24 hours, but it was still surprising to hear. And I was okay with it. Komaeda makes me feel good about myself. He made me feel like I have a purpose. Well minus the times he points out my lack of talent, but that's only when he's really upset.

"Would you be angry if I kissed you, Hinata-kun?" He asked slowly and cautiously. He wasn't looking directly at my face and his upturned mouth straightened into a line. 

I know I wouldn't be mad if he kissed me, but I took a few seconds to think about his invitation. It was only a friendly kiss, right? I shook my head at his question, unable to respond to him directly as I could feel my blush grow. 

His smile returned as his face slowly inched towards mine. I almost instinctively closed my eyes. I felt his soft lips against my own for the third time today. It was definitely a lot better than the last kiss we shared mostly because I'm not currently bleeding on him. We are also still amateurs when it comes to kissing. 

It's a little awkward how we're just pressing our mouths together and not moving them. There is moving involved in kissing, right? I experimentally tilted my head a little and moved my mouth against his. It felt like what I should do. Komaeda must have approved of the little movements because I could feel him also tilt his head and rub his hand up my back. When did that get there? Oh well it felt kind of nice. After a few more seconds of experimenting with different kissing techniques we broke apart because we forgot to breathe. We were definitely beginners.

After panting for a little while Komaeda smiled like he usually does before breathlessly saying "We should kiss more often." 

I feel like eventually this will end in some sort of disaster, but I think I could get used to the displays of affection. If anything the kisses can be practice for whatever relationship comes in the future. I just don't know what to expect from us randomly kissing when we feel like it, and friends don't kiss each other. What will this mindless kissing possibly result in?


	3. A Step in Either Direction

It's been almost a full week since our first kiss. Things have been different since that day, not _very_ different, but still different. On the day that we shared our first, second, and third kiss we didn't kiss again on the same day. However the days after are a different story. My name is Hajime Hinata and my best friend, Komaeda and I have kissed roughly 20 times. No it's not because we're dating. We are still very much friends. More than half of the time the kisses are just small pecks before we leave for class or just when Komaeda feels like kissing me. Other times are what I like to call 'practice kisses' where we just kiss until we either run out of air or don't want to anymore, most of the time it's the former that does it for us. I think we're getting better at kissing.

The day after our first kiss Nanami asked me if I confronted Komaeda on his behavior. I lied to her and I feel bad about it. I told her that I chickened out and we watched TV. I think she believed it. It's not that I don't want her to know about our weird conversation, I just didn't want to tell her when I didn't know how Ko would feel about it. See? I'm a good friend sometimes. 

No one seems to have noticed a difference in our behavior. I can't help but look at Komaeda much more than I used to, he's just so amazingly gorgeous and I have never noticed his beauty before I kissed him. I sound like such a loser when I say that, but it's true. I have been coming to terms with my sexuality for a few days now; it's still very new and gives me an odd feeling when I think about it. I decided to tell Ko about it and he just smiled and told me that he might have been the one that made me like boys. He sure is smug for someone who seems to deprecate himself so much. He can be an asshole sometimes. However he did say that he was there if I needed to talk about it, so he's not too much of an asshole. 

Komaeda seems genuinely more positive after the kisses. His face brightens so much more when he sees me, and he gets really excited when we leave our group of friends because then he knows that I'll let him kiss me. It's actually really cute to see him like that. He practically vibrates as we walk and his smile goes from ear to ear. He never kisses me without asking for my permission, which I appreciate, but it always makes my face heat up when he does. He's always gentle with me too, as if he's afraid that I won't like what he's doing. After we get done with a kissing session he tries desperately to make casual small talk. I'm not 100% sure why, but I think it's because he doesn't want us to become any closer than we already were. It's a little funny though when we're out of breath and our mouths are hanging open, but then he says something like 'What do you think the cafeteria is serving today?' or 'Did Nanami tell you about the new fighting game she just received?'.

Today is Friday and it's 3:00 PM. Classes have just ended and everyone is rushing around the halls to leave the classroom portion of Hope's Peak. I stood by the doors to the dorms portion of the school while waiting for my two good friends. They both arrived almost simultaneously. Nanami already has her portable game in her hands looking focused at the screen and mouth hanging open slightly. Beside her walked Komaeda who just gripped his bag with one hand while occasionally glancing at her gaming. Komaeda looked up to meet my gaze and his mouth immediately turned upwards. He left her side to go to mine. It looked like she didn't even notice as the speed of her gaming increased with every second. 

"How was your day today, Hinata-kun?" Komaeda said still smiling. I couldn't help but smile back to him, he's so cute and he doesn't even try!

"Pretty good." It was actually boring and uneventful, but I don't ever say that to Ko. Once he asked me how my day was during school and I replied with 'boring'. I didn't think that through. He scowled at me and told me I should be thankful that this school would be so generous to let someone boring like me into it. I didn't talk to him for a little while after that. He never meant to be rude, but he's much too passionate about the school.

"I'm glad." He replied closing his eyes as he continued smiling. 

Nanami came up behind us and paused for a second before saying "Oh Hinata-kun I didn't realize you were standing there." with a tilt of her head. "Me and Komaeda-kun were going to go get something to eat, would you like to come?" She always asks if I want to join them even if she knows the answer already.

"Of course" I said now directing my smile to her.

We walked to the cafeteria to get some food. We always eat early after classes because almost no one else is there when we arrive; everyone usually wants to change out of their uniforms first thing before anything else. We sat in our usual spot after getting something to eat. I have gotten a sandwich; I didn't even bother to see what kind it was I just grabbed it. I have also gotten a soda to go along with it.

As I cracked open my soda I heard Nanami's game thunk against the table. Wow she actually put it down today; I wonder what the occasion is? I turned my head to glance at her so I could give her one of my sarcastic surprised looks, but she was already looking at me with a little bit of intensity in her glare. Her eyebrows were a little furrowed. She looked annoyed, but not too upset. "What's wrong, Nanami?" I said taking a small sip of my soda and then pulling it back quickly after taking the sip and looking at the can. Gross, I accidentally got diet instead of regular.

Komaeda perked up after hearing the start of the conversation and turned his gaze towards Nanami and gave her a blank look.

"Hinata-kun we're friends, correct?" she said as she calmed herself enough to appear uninterested.

"Right... What did I do this time?" I asked knowing I must have messed up sometime today.

"Nothing really, it's more like what you didn't do..." Her expression changed after she said that. She didn't look upset anymore, she looked guiltier now than anything. "Sorry, please forget about it, I got upset without thinking," She said rather quickly as she picked up the slice of pizza she picked out and took a bite while taking her gaze away from me.

What the hell? She can't just start talking about something I apparently didn't do and then just stop. "Nanami please tell me what I did wrong." I felt my voice raise a little to sound like a whine. 

"No, maybe later." She said eating her pizza while continuing to play her game at the same time.

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"I said no." Her voice remained calm as she scolded me like a child.

"Hinata-kun I think that you should probably forget about it for now." Komaeda said finally piping into the conversation with a small smile. This fucker knows about it too! If he didn't he would be trying to get it out of her also. He's just always too curious to not want to know.

"What didn't I do, Komaeda?" I said looking to my left to find him smiling. His smile dropped after hearing my plea to him. His gaze went down to his food, he looked guilty also.

"Don't bring Komaeda-kun into this." Nanami said still unmoved by my actions.

I sighed in defeat. I'm not going to learn anything with the both of them fighting together against me. I rested my head in my hand and took a bite of my sandwich. It was ham and cheese. I was honestly hoping for a BLT, today just isn't my day.

After our early dinner Komaeda and I separated from Nanami and headed to the boys dorm section. His body seemed almost agitated with him trying to hold in his excitement. His smile always twitched when he was excited. He wasn't very good at hiding how excited he is. He left for his room to change without saying goodbye; he didn't bother knowing he was coming back to my room anyway.

I entered my room and immediately tugged at my tie to get it off. After changing into my usual style that I've had since beginning high school I sat at my desk and pulled out the homework I have received today. All of it looked like a disaster waiting to happen. As a reserve course student, my expectations were much lower when I attended the Prep School. Now that I'm here the professors use words that I don't even think are in the dictionary. I can still pass all of my classes if I try hard enough, but it seems much more like an advance college then a high school.

As I continued to scowl at my homework I heard my door creak as it opened. I don't leave my door locked when I know Ko is coming over. I didn't bother to look over at the boy as I had already started my math homework and didn't want to lose focus which I do pretty easily. I heard him walk past me and sit on the floor next to my bed like he usually does. Then the television turns on, like usual. I couldn't help but take my attention away from my work. When Komaeda was around I just felt the need to look at him. Sometimes I didn't even know I was doing it. 

When I looked behind me I seen Komaeda as expected, but today there was something different about him compared to every other day. "Ko, why are you still in your uniform?" 

He looked up and seemed a little surprised I have acknowledged him. He looked down to confirm to himself that he was indeed in his uniform. "I must have forgotten to change." He said in his naturally smooth voice looking back up to my face. 

"Didn't you go to your room to change?" I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing instead of changing.

"Yes I suppose I did." He said as his voice had gotten quieter. What was wrong with him today? Maybe he was preoccupied with something. Did something happen to him? He used to have some sort of brain problems, but that since has gone into remission. The damage already done can't be repaired, but at least he won't be getting any worse. He said it was due to his luck cycle, but he didn't seem too happy about it almost as if it were bad luck instead of good luck. What if it came back? Would he die? No I should really stop over-thinking it.

He must have noticed my worry because he has gotten up and walked over to where I was sitting. I didn't even notice because I was to busy thinking about my lunatic of a best friend. He looked at me with his face scrunched up a little from his concern. Before he could say anything I said "Do you want me to go get your stuff for you?" If he forgot I could always run to get them for him and he could just change here. Not that I want to see him change or anything weird like that... I would probably make him change in the bathroom anyway.

His eyes widened just for a second before quickly replying with "No that's okay. I'll go get my clothes changed, you stay here." He said that a little too quickly for it to not be suspicious. I gave him a confused look before nodding in agreement.

He smiled and left the room in a hurry and leaving my door open. Why is he in such a rush all of a sudden? Today has been nothing but mysteries and bad luck so far. 

About a half an hour passed and he still hasn't returned. I finished all of my homework and was growing impatient. Why isn't he here? Is he in trouble? Is he also upset with me for the thing I didn't do? I can't fix my mistakes unless I know the problem, people! Getting annoyed with all of the silence I pulled out my phone. I scrolled passed Nanami and Komaeda's name and hit the call button next to Souda's name. It rang twice before he picked up. "What's up Hinata?" He asked cheerily at me trying to get in touch with him.

I skipped right to the chase. "Did I do or I guess didn't do something that upset you recently?" I said unnecessarily angry-sounding.

He paused for a second while repeating the question to himself. "Not that I can think of, why?" 

I sighed sort of in relief and sort of still annoyed. "Nanami said that I didn't do something and she won't tell me what I didn't do."

"Maybe you didn't make out with her enough when you guys were dating that one time." I heard him snicker on the other line before I hung up. This is what happens when I try to confide in someone other than Komaeda or Nanami.

I heard the door finally open. I turned to the door at lightning speed, well not really that fast but you know what I mean. Komaeda said he was bringing his clothes, but I didn't expect him to bring his entire wardrobe plus some of his other things. He carried said stuff in laundry baskets. I stared at him with my mouth slightly agape. "Komaeda, what the hell are you doing?" I said as calmly as I could.

He plopped his stuff inside of my room before closing the front door and locking it with my spare key. "Can I sleep here for a little while?" He asked looking ashamed and almost looked like he was going to have a mental breakdown.

My annoyed expression quickly changed to curiosity and then concern in a matter of maybe three seconds. "Uh... yeah of course, why?" My voice changed unable to pick which tone I wanted it to be at.

He looked around almost as if he doesn't know himself. He looked pained as he thought about it. "My shower broke." He was trying to sound confident which he really didn't.

Why is he lying to me? What are they hiding? "No it didn't." I wasn't even going to consider his lie. 

He knew he had been caught. His gaze went to the floor. "I can't tell you why right now, but please trust me this time, I need you." He pleaded.

I blushed at him saying that. I couldn't say no to him. I couldn't help but be upset at the lack of details though. However I guess I should put more trust my best friend. "I already said sure." I heightened my voice to try and reassure him that I wasn't upset.

He let out a breath he must have been holding before his smile returned. "Thank you, Hinata-kun." He wrapped his arms around my waist slowly as said that and gave me a short kiss when he finished. I blushed harder and mumbled a "No problem." while still in his embrace. He didn't even ask this time, I didn't mind though. Whenever we kissed my chest got tight but it wasn't painful. It actually felt rather nice.

He let go and picked up one of the two baskets. It had his clothes in it. "Where can I put these?" He said directing his voice to me still having that relieved smile on his face. 

As I pulled myself together I pointed toward the dresser. "The bottom drawer is empty." I said taking a stack of clothes out of the basket he was holding to help him put it away.

He didn't have a lot of clothes so they should all fit in the one drawer. While we were putting his stuff away we were drenched in silence. It wasn't uncommon for us to not say anything, most of the time we just like the other's company, but this was a little uncomfortable. "How long do you think you'll be staying in here?"

His eyes didn't falter from the task he was doing. "However long it takes." Was all he said.

I didn't respond to that. He still seems upset about whatever happened. He's making me worried. "Does it have something to do with your brain disease?" I asked silently praying that it didn't. Komaeda means too much to me right now, I don't know what I would do if he died. I wouldn't want him to die without me telling him that I love him back. Because y'know it would be terrible if I didn't at least say that to him before he died. He is my best friend after all. Thinking like this is weird. I shouldn't think about him dying, and I don't really love him back... at least romantically...

He smiled and shook his head. "No it has nothing to do with that." He replied knowing it would calm me down. It did significantly. I smiled back to him as I put his last shirt in the drawer.

He walked over to the other basket, the one with his other items. I followed him to his stuff. He didn't have much. There was his toothbrush, his hairbrush, some lotion, his bag which probably had his school things in it, some chap stick (So _that_ is how his lips are so soft!), and three bags of assorted candy. Komaeda has an awful sweet tooth. It was funny because he used to hate sweet things until I introduced him to my mom's sugar cookies she sent me for my 15th birthday. He fell in love with them immediately.

There were also two framed pictures. One of the pictures showed a happy couple in it and a small child with a bright smile on his face. This must be Komaeda and his parents. He was beyond adorable when he was a child, and still is today. His eyes were closed like he was laughing and his hair was even wilder back then. The other picture was of the same small child and a dog. It looked like a German Shepard. Little Komaeda was hugging the dog around its neck. The child was no less adorable than he was in the last picture. The people in the pictures were dressed properly, even Komaeda. They must have been wealthy.

Komaeda must have noticed me looking at the pictures. He continued to smile as he picked them up. "I loved my dog a lot." Was the only thing he said in regard to the pictures.

"What was his name?" I asked getting up off of the floor with him.

Komaeda giggled as he thought about it to himself before turning to me. "Lucky." I laughed with him at the irony of his dog's name.

Later that night we put everything together after we returned from the cafeteria. We left my, or I guess our room after we exchanged dog stories to go chat with the rest of the class as they ate their dinner. Nanami still didn't tell me anything once again and Souda was upset because I hung up on him. It was his own damn fault. We didn't say anything in regards to the dorm issue. Who knows what they would have said if we brought up the fact that we were now living together.

It was already 10 at night. Komaeda and I were now in our pajamas. I didn't wear a shirt when I slept, but tonight I put one on. Me and Ko would be sharing a bed tonight after all. This is going to be super weird isn't it? The bed was only meant for one person. I made an agitated expression at the bed before turning to Komaeda who was still all smiles. He wouldn't try anything, would he? I'm over-thinking again.

I climbed into the bed and scooted as close to the wall as possible and then turning my body to face the wall. Komaeda sat on the edge before quietly saying "Do you want me to sleep on the floor?"

"No, you're alright." I said while hugging the blankets closer to me.

I felt the bed jiggle as he laid down on his back beside me closest to the edge. He reached over and turned off the lamp on my bedside table. The darkness immediately engulfed the room. I couldn't see anything. I just had to wait for my eyes to adjust. I felt the body next to me turn to face me. I remained facing the wall. I closed my eyes harder than really necessary. "Hinata-kun?" I heard a small voice say in my ear.

My body shivered at the small noise. "Huh?" I said back to the voice.

"... Can I kiss you?" The voice replied smoothly. Now? In the dark? This better not get weird. Well two 'really good' friends kissing in a bed is pretty weird already.

I turned to face him now, not realizing he would be as close as he was. I felt our noses brush against each other during my position switching. I could feel his warm breath on my mouth. I think I know where his mouth is now. I took a gamble and moved my mouth to where I thought his was. I felt my lips hit some sort of skin. It wasn't his mouth, I know what that feels like and this is not it. I heard him giggle. "You missed." Today just isn't my day. I pulled back scowling at myself.

Then I felt his actual mouth against mine. How did he not miss? Well I guess he is super lucky. He slowly put more pressure on my lips coaxing me to move along with him. I closed my eyes even though it wouldn't make much of a difference in this situation. I twisted my lips against his to make a sucking motion on his lips. He responded by putting his hand on my cheek, holding me in place while his other hand wrapped around my waist to rub my back. I could feel his mouth make a smile as he found the spot on my back that was really ticklish. I jumped a little upon him circling his finger around the spot. My mouth fell off of his as I breathed out of my nose in a sort of laugh.

I could hear his quiet giggle when I landed on my back. I opened my eyes to search for him, but it was too dark. Then I felt pressure on the other side of the bed. He had his arms on either side of me as he kept himself hovering above my face. I reached up to feel for him. My right arm hit his chest before he lowered himself back onto my lips. My other arm joined the first as I wrapped them both around his neck instinctively. His lips took on mine almost hungrily. He was sloppy when he kissed me. It was kind of gross and a little exciting at the same time. I always try to be precise and neat with my kisses in comparison to his. Suddenly he took his lips off of me with a little squishy popping sound.

I kept my arms around his neck as I felt his head move to the side of my own neck. He pressed his lips right below my ear and sucked on the skin a little. My breath hitched at the new feeling. He never did 'this' before. His lips have only ever been on my lips. Does he know what he's doing? Whatever it is he's good at it. It's like he's done this before, or at least practiced. His lips moved down to right below my jaw and he continued to suck. I could feel my breathing getting heavier. This was getting dangerous. My hands left his neck and went around his upper back. I grasped at his shirt to try and pull him off. My arms fell to my sides when I felt something wet against my jaw. Was that his tongue? Is he licking me? His tongue trailed down to my neck where he continued to suck and swirl his tongue against my skin. I gasped at the feeling of the warm wet appendage. "Ko-Komaeda... g-get off." I said wondering why my heart was beating so loudly and violently at the feeling of his tongue. 

He listened to the strained request and took his mouth off of my neck. "Are you alright?" I heard his voice shaking, he was nervous while doing this to me. He felt so confident though. 

I nodded. Then I stupidly realized that he couldn't see me and replied with. "Yeah."

"Was that too much?" the voice was quiet again. I wonder if he can hear my heartbeat. It was erratic and I could hear it. What did he ask? Oh, yeah I suppose it was a little much for a 'friendly kiss'. However it wasn't exactly unpleasant feeling. 

"I don't know... It was just surprising." I said trying to calm myself.

He was silent before flopping back to his side. I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I don't know why though, we aren't dating or anything. I refuse to let myself fall in love with Komaeda, yeah he's pretty and he understands me and I understand him sort of, but if he doesn't want me to like him then I won't. I don't want to like him either, if we were to get together and date but then we broke up I don't think our friendship would ever be the same again. Me and Nanami are still okay around each other because we never did anything romantic, it was like we were never not friends in the first place. His feelings for me kind of scare me.

"Komaeda?" I said softly. No answer followed. He must have fallen asleep while I was thinking. Did he take what I said as offensive? I hope not. I guess we won't know until tomorrow. I wonder if us living together will be okay? I wonder why he's here in the first place. I'm hoping he tells me eventually he seemed so upset about it, almost angry. Did our friendship take a step forward or backward with that kiss? I can't even tell. It seems like we both know we took it too far.


	4. Marks of Love

I don't remember falling asleep last night. I guess I did though because I can feel myself waking up. I refused to open my eyes. This was always my least favorite time of day, right when I wake up. I am not in the mood to try and shimmy my way over Komaeda to get off of my own bed. I pulled whatever I had been grasping closer to my face. It was soft and smelled kind of nice. It was fabric, but too small to be any sort of blanket. 

I opened my eyes to find that I has holding onto Komaeda's night shirt. He wasn't wearing it at the moment, hell he wasn't even in the bed. I sat up groggily and looked to where Komaeda was supposed to be. I was squinting from the light being pulled in from the window, but I could still confirm that Komaeda was not even in the room with me. My name is Hajime Hinata and I have no clue where my best friend is.

I took a glance at the alarm clock. 9:30 AM. Whatever, I guess I couldn't go back to sleep now that I decided to open my eyes. I threw the blankets off of me and found Komaeda's pants in the process. What does he think I'm his washing machine? I swung my legs over the side of the bed and found his boxers on the floor. Okay we are definitely going to talk about where to put the clothes when he gets back. I should be pretty glad that I was snuggling up his shirt when I was asleep and not those. 

I walked over to the dresser and pulled out some clothes for the day. Before I could get changed into those clothes I heard my door unlock. I looked over to find Komaeda wearing the same clothes he has on every day. He wasn't looking at my face when he saw me. He was also carrying a tray with what looks to be food on it. "I got us breakfast, Hinata-kun. I hope you're not too upset with me." He smiled nervously and set the tray on my desk.

I shot him a confused gaze. Why should I be upset with him? He must be talking about last night. I wasn't upset about it; it just freaked me out. I can't help but be uncomfortable when someone is licking my neck. I let my expression lighten. "It's alright, things happen."

His smile widened a little in relief and handed me a glass of orange juice, my favorite.

After we ate in our room Komaeda took the tray back to the cafeteria, leaving me to myself. I took the clothes that I have prepared into the bathroom so I could take a shower. I took off all of my clothes without much thought. After my underwear hit the floor I turned towards the sink. When I looked at the mirror I gasped at what I saw. I leaned forward in shock and brought my hand to my neck. On my neck was the most noticeable hickey I have ever seen. It was red and circular. On closer inspection there were more going to my jaw. I can't leave this goddamn dorm room today. Not like this. I can't hide this with my clothes and I have no foundation. 

I heard the door close outside of the bathroom. I can't go confront him yet. I'm naked. I breathed slowly to calm myself. I turned on the shower and reached my hand out to feel the water. When the water was warm I stepped inside. I loved showers. It gave me time to think about anything I wanted to. I brought a hand up to my neck; it didn't hurt like I thought it would. I raised my head up to drench my face in the warm water. My thoughts trailed off into what went on last night. Komaeda practically straddling me when we kissed, and of course the neck sucking. It was very bold of Komaeda and that's why it was weird. He never asked or said a thing about it. He always makes sure I'm alright before he tries new things. He's kind of a dork when it comes to the physical stuff.

After my shower I looked back into the mirror, just in case maybe the marks came off or something. Nope still there. I groaned as I put on my clothes agitated. I left the bathroom and spotted Komaeda sitting on my bed watching the television. It looks like he picked up his clothes. The scolding for that will be put on halt; there are more pressing matters to attend to. "Komaeda!" I said making sure I sounded agitated.

His head turned to me and he looked confused. "Yes?" He looked almost frightened.

I glared at him, that look won't work on me this time. "What is this?" I pointed to the mark on my neck.

He looked even more confused. He is not going to tell me he didn't notice. If he does I will punch him. "You said you weren't upset." He said bringing his eyes to the floor. So earlier he wasn't talking about last night, but the giant bruise on my neck. 

I sighed and sat next to him. "Whatever." I turned towards the TV, still visibly unhappy.

He refused to take his eyes off of me. He looked like a kicked puppy. "I love you Hinata-kun."

I choked on nothing at his sudden statement. I turned to look at him, he smiled again in response. Was I supposed to respond to that?

He leaned against the wall and drew a breath. "Sometimes I wish I never had this luck cycle. If I didn't then maybe I would have my parents back." He paused to look at me and widened his smile. "And then maybe our 'friend' kisses can be 'boyfriend' kisses." He talked so softly, but it still made my chest tighten.

"If you weren't lucky then we would have never met because you wouldn't have a talent." I replied a little louder than him.

He gently grabbed my hand and held it in his. "If I had no talent then I would have gone to the Prep School, and we would have met sooner, we could have been happier. We could have been talent less together" His emotion-hiding smile fell; his face was blank. 

I didn't know where he was going with this, but I continued to hold his hand. I knew that my hand must have brought him comfort in some way. I stayed silent.

"...What was the last thing you said to me last night?" Komaeda turned to me with the blank look turning into something else, I couldn't tell what emotion he was feeling.

What did I say? I told him I was surprised and then said his name to get his attention, but he was asleep. "I called out your name, but you must have fallen asleep." 

"Just as I thought. Did you know that you talk in your sleep?" He said finally turned his eyes to me after they had been fixed to one spot on the floor for a while now. He looked disappointed.

I talk in my sleep? What did I say to him? I hope I didn't mention that one time I might have accidentally seen Mioda's breasts; I swear it was an accident! "No... What did I say?" I asked nervously.

He tilted his head before giving me a proper answer. "Your biggest secret." He said with a smirk. Oh no, what if I said something about putting laxatives in Nidai's food. It was all Souda's idea! After Nidai suspected someone of drugging him he said he would kill whoever did it. Souda and I promised to take that to the grave. He giggled at my horrified expression. "I'm just kidding." I let out a large sigh.

"Screw you." I said laughing along with him. "What did I actually say?"

He paused as his smile faded again. "You said that you loved me as much as I loved you."

I stared at him without any expression. My heart beat sped up again and he's hardly touching me. I said that? I never let love and Komaeda come into the same thought before. I was always too afraid to. I don't love Komaeda, maybe like a friend but... It's no use. I'm only trying to fool myself, but deep down I know better. I know that I love Komaeda. My heart rate spikes when he touches me, my chest tightens when he says something nice to me, and I get excited when I see him. I don't know exactly why I refuse to believe that I love Komaeda; maybe it's to shield myself from his luck cycle, or maybe I'm just too scared to get into a serious relationship. It's probably both. I think I should just quit denying my feelings.

I glanced back to the confused Komaeda and smiled. I leaned in and wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He looked even more confused. I smiled and pressed my lips against his soft ones. After a few seconds he leaned into it. I pulled back and grinned at him. He still looked confused, ah how the tables have turned. "It's okay Komaeda; it was only a romantic kiss after all, right?" I mocked what he told me after our first kiss and smirked.

His confusion turned into panic after hearing me say that. "H-Hinata-kun you don't understand... the luck cycle-!" 

My smile disappeared and was replaced with a scowl. "I don't give a shit about the dumb cycle. I would rather die with us together like this than on my own later in the future." I was surprised at how bold I was. "We're so happy together; it would be a waste if we didn't enjoy ourselves."

His eyes widened in fear and he brought a hand to his mouth. "N-no I don't want anything to happen to you, I love you, Hinata-kun!" He was practically shaking; I could feel it with our hands reconnected.

I knew this wouldn't be easy. It's time to pull out my trump card. I looked into his eyes and gave him a reassuring smile. "Komaeda, I have enough hope for us that I know that we'll be okay. Don't you have hope for me?" To be honest I have no clue what his definition of hope is, but let's 'hope' that that worked.

His eyes widened even further, which I didn't think was possible. His mouth opened in surprise. He paused taking his gaze away from me for only a second. His expression turned serious. "I don't know if my hope is sufficient, but yes I think I have hope for us." His smile returned finally. "Your hope is so much better though." He said pulling me into a tight hug. I hugged him back and smiled. "I love you, Hinata-kun."

I dug my face into his shoulder. "I... I love you too, Komaeda." After I said that it felt like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I felt his grip tighten around me when I said that. He unwrapped his arms from my body and grabbed each side of my face. Before I could even see his face his lips were on mine. I kept my eyes closed until I felt something wet on my chin. I pulled back and looked at Komaeda. His eyes were red and his face was scrunched up, but he was still smiling at me. This was the first time I have ever seen him cry. It's kind of cute, but it makes me feel like crying too. He pulled a hand up to his face to wipe his tears and giggled at how happy he was.

Before I could stop it I felt tears run down my cheek as well. I didn't realize how happy I was with Komaeda until right now. I love him so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have witnessed a lack of Komaeda crying in other fanfictions and I felt like that needed to change.
> 
> Sorry if this chapter is shorter than others I just didn't know how to continue from there without making it 10,000 words long.


	5. My Second Best Friend, Nanami

Komaeda and I have been crying in each other's arms for about ten minutes now. We didn't say anything during that time. It's a little embarrassing almost sitting in his lap while stroking his hair. I like this though, I feel closer to Komaeda now than I ever have before. My tears fall out without me even thinking about it; I'm calm and still smiling into Komaeda's shoulder. Komaeda however is sobbing into my shoulder while gripping desperately at my back. He's shaking and makes sniffling noises every other second. He probably hasn't cried in a long time. My name is Hajime Hinata and today I admitted to loving my best friend, Nagito Komaeda.

Komaeda pulled back and looked at me with his tear-filled eyes. He brought a hand up to my face and wiped away some of my tears. "You're crying, Hinata-kun." He talked through his sniffling.

I laughed at what he said. "You should see yourself."

He smiled and wiped his face with his jacket sleeve. "Why do you love me Hinata-kun?"

I sat back in my own spot and pondered the question. How should I know, I just do. If I'm willing to risk my life just to be with him then I must be in love. I shrugged. "I just do."

He seemed like he was finally calming himself down. The shaking and sniffling stopped. He giggled a little. "You're very simplistic."

I scowled playfully at him. "Whatever." I leaned against the wall with him. 

After glancing at the ignored television for a few seconds Komaeda turned back towards me and gave me a serious and confused glance. "So are the friendly kisses no longer going to be friendly?" He asked quietly.

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks before replying. "They won't be friendly anymore." I said glancing down to look at nothing in particular.

He brought his hand to mine again and held it. "I'm kind of going to miss them." He said softly.

I looked up at him and gave him a sort of crooked smile. "Y'know we're still going to be kissing each other, right?"

He smiled softly and squeezed my hand a little harder. "Of course I know. It will just be a little strange kissing you without worrying about you falling in love with me."

I laughed a little at what he said. "Were you really that confident that you could make me fall in love with you that easily?"

"It happened didn't it?" He said giggling at my scowl directed towards him. One day he calls himself useless garbage and then the very next day he compliments himself on how much he can manipulate me. He's a prick.

So are we dating now? It looks like it, but none of us said anything about it. I absentmindedly rubbed the bruised spot on my neck with my unoccupied hand. What if he kisses me in public? I don't want him to, at least not yet. None of my friends even know that I like boys. This relationship is going to be... interesting to say the least. Wait, what if he wants to have sex? I've never had sex before, and I doubt he has. Of course I know how to have sex... kind of. I mean every teenage boy has done 'research' right? I have no clue how to have sex with a boy though. I know it involves the asshole in some way... that's scary stuff. I looked over to Komaeda; he looked confused at my horrified expression. He didn't seem to be crying anymore. "Are you okay, Hinata-kun?"

I smiled reassuringly to him. "Yeah I'm fine... Are we... dating?" I asked.

"I thought we were. Are we?" He said tilting his head.

"Of course! I mean, if you want to." I said a little too quickly.

He nodded bringing the smile back to his face. "Hinata-kun..." He paused and thought to himself for a second. "Can we kiss now?"

I sighed and brought a hand up to my face. Kisses are tiring. Komaeda loves affection, I think he craves it. He doesn't want it in a sexual or pleasurable manor or anything like that. He likes affection because it reassures him that someone cares about him. I figured this out after a few days of indulging in his 'friend kisses'. He touches me not because he wants to feel me up, but because he thinks I'll like it... I can admit that I do. I looked to the side of the room and sighed again. "Okay."

He smiled brightly. He was excited; this wasn't going to be a friend kiss. He turned his body and sat up on his knees. His arms extended like he wanted a hug. I looked at him a little confused before leaning forward and letting his arms engulf me. I let my face rest on his. Our foreheads pressed together and our noses were touching. Komaeda's smile softened before he let our lips touch. It was gentle. If I didn't have my eyes opened right then I doubt that I would have felt it.

I closed my eyes like I always do when we kiss and leaned in further. Komaeda's grip around me lightened and his hand rubbed my back in a circular motion. I steadied myself on the bed with one arm and brought the other around his neck. He pushed his lips against mine; he sucked on my lips slowly. I could feel my back hit the wall as he leaned in even further. I let my head tilt a little bit as I played with the hair on the back of his head. I let my lips move against his a little harder now. Komaeda hummed in approval at my movements. His lips vibrated when he hummed; it kind of tickled. I smiled against his lips. 

Then I heard different humming. This time it wasn't from Komaeda. I opened my eyes and separated myself from Komaeda. My phone was vibrating on my nightstand. I looked back to Komaeda. "Give me a second." He nodded in response.

I flopped onto my stomach and reached for my phone. Nanami had sent me a text. "You never told me that you were gay." I stared wide-eyed at the text. Huh? When did she come to that conclusion? Another text appeared on the screen. "I don't have a problem with that; I'm just hurt that you never told me." Was that what she was upset about? I'm not completely gay; I like girls too.

I scowled at my phone. "What are you talking about?" I typed fast and made minor spelling mistakes, good thing my phone auto-corrects itself. I could feel Komaeda giving me some sort of look behind me.

"Come to my room and we can talk." After about a second another text came. "Don't bring Komaeda; I know he's with you." Now I was really confused. Was she spying on us? Was this just some weird gamer instinct? 

After glancing back at Komaeda who just looked about as confused as I was I replied. "Okay." 

I rolled off of the bed, stood up, and then put my phone in my pocket. "I need to go see Nanami real fast. I'll be back in a little while." I said turning to Komaeda. 

"Is she alright?"

"Yeah she just wants to talk to me." After I said this Komaeda still didn't look any calmer about it. 

I walked over towards my door and stopped. For some reason I don't want to leave without Komaeda. Before I could turn back around I grabbed the door handle and yanked it open. I took a few steps outside. It was cold out here. I walked down the hall to head towards the girl dorms.

When I reached the other section of the dorms I was greeted by Tsumiki. She smiled and raised her hand to wave at me. "Good morning Hinata-san!"

I smiled back to her. "Good morning." I continued to walk towards her; I needed to go that way anyway.

"How are you todaaaa-" Her voice trailed off as her smile fell. Her face morphed into panic like it usually does half of the day.

"What's wrong, Tsumiki?" I gave her a look of concern.

"I-I-I'm s-sorry I just-" She looked everywhere but at me while playing with the bandages on her arms. She turned away quickly and half-ran half-walked away. I never really know what she's apologizing for half of the time. I wish I knew what was wrong with her so I could help her, but she always runs away before she can answer me.

I turned to Nanami's door and knocked. After a few seconds the door unlocked and Nanami stared at me blankly for a few seconds. "...Hello Hinata-kun." She made way for me to come in.

I sat on the edge of her bed. She pulled her desk chair over and sat in front of me. She gave me another blank look before tilting her head. "Do you really think that it's a good idea to show that off?" She asked calmly.

I shot her a puzzled glance. "What do you mean?"

She didn't speak. She raised her hand and pointed to her neck. I stared at her for a few seconds before finally realizing what she was talking about. "Oh shit! Tsumiki!" Oh no fuck! Tsumiki's going to say something I just know it! I completely forgot about the goddamn hickey! 

Nanami looked shocked at my sudden outburst. "Tsumiki did 'that' to you?" 

I shook my head almost violently. I ran a hand through my hair to try and calm myself. "No... She just saw it and I didn't realize I had it and I-" Nanami held up a hand for me to stop talking. I did.

"We can discuss that later." She said quietly.

I held my head down in humiliation. "I'm not completely gay." I started quietly. "I like girls too." She giggled at my words.

"Why do you think you like girls too?" She pondered while smiling softly.

I felt more at ease talking to her. I let myself relax. Nanami wouldn't see me differently no matter what I say. "I think girls have nice figures, and they're really pretty too." I answered honestly.

Her gentle smile didn't falter. "You're bisexual." I thought about her statement for a moment before I nodded in agreement. 

"How did you know?" I asked quietly; still not looking her in the eye.

"... I could tell for a while now." She paused for a brief moment. "I also made Komaeda-kun tell me."

"Wait, what!?" I stammered out. Komaeda told her? I kept all of his secrets for him and he spills one of mine? I can't believe that-

"Don't get mad at him please, like I said I made him tell me. It's my fault. He didn't tell anyone else. I was putting a lot of pressure on him. I also told him that I already knew about it anyway." She pleaded to me. I never seen Nanami have this much energy before.

I sighed. I guess it can't be helped. I trust Nanami anyway. However I do feel like I need to talk this over with Komaeda later. "Alright I promise that I won't get upset." I said while smiling back to her.

Her smile returned and she raised a hand to her chest. "Thank goodness." She was relieved. "Now Hinata-kun, please tell me where you received 'that'." She said almost giggling while pointing to my neck.

I sighed again. I decided that I should tell her the entire truth. The three of us are really good friends after all. "Komaeda." That was all I could say. I felt the blood rush to my face. I looked up at her to she what her expression was like. 

Her eyes went wide for a second. I don't know why but I didn't expect her to be this surprised. "...Really?" I nodded. She smiled her gentle smile again after a brief pause. "That's really cute."

I blushed a little harder. "We just started dating today... like an hour ago." 

She shot me a perplexed glance. "Hickeys don't form that quickly."

I looked to the floor. "They were friendly kisses alright?" I said still embarrassed.

"...Friendly kisses?" She sounded even more puzzled than she was before. What am I thinking? That was something Komaeda made up himself!

"Please don't ask." I don't know why I told her about those. I really didn't need to. I wish I didn't. I quickly changed the subject. "Do you have any idea why Komaeda is sleeping in my room?"

"...I think you two are taking things a little bit too fast." I put a hand to my face. 

"No I mean he barged into my room last night and asked if he could stay for a few days." I needed to make sure that she wasn't thinking about us doing nasty stuff when I left.

She brought a finger to her chin in thought. "I have no idea; did you ask him about it?"

"Yeah, but he just told me to trust him about it."

"Then maybe you should do just that..." She smiled back to me.

"I suppose so." I looked up to her. "Nanami I should probably go back to my room. I told Ko that-"

She gave me a reassuring glance. "It's alright go back to your boyfriend." She smiled softly. If she was capable of smirking she probably would right now. I blushed even harder and then walked out of her room. 

I paused in the middle of the hallway. That could have been a lot worse than it was. I sighed in relief and started walking back to my dorm. I picked up my pace in order to not run into anybody else. When I reached my dorm room after a little while of mindlessly running I was panting against my door. I turned around and let my back hit the door. I gasped a little in surprise.

There was a girl staring at me from the other side of the hall and smirking. She wasn't an ordinary girl though. Well I guess no girl here is ordinary, but whatever. Her name was Junko Enoshima, the super high school model. Everyone knew her name. You couldn't find a magazine cover without her on it. Her hair was always in giant pigtails with little different colored bears holding them up and she wore the smallest skirts imaginable. She also had a twin sister that followed her everywhere, but she wasn't anywhere to be found at the moment. Both Enoshima and her sister were in the class right below us.

She took a few steps until she was about an arm's length away from me. "You're Hinata, right?" She sounded like a typical teenage girl. She smirked at me like she knew something that I didn't.

I nodded. I didn't know what else to do. I casually held my hand on my neck to prevent her from noticing my giant bruises.

She held out a card that was in her hand towards me. "You dropped this." Her smirk turned into a more genuine-looking smile. 

I reached out and grabbed it slowly. It was my ID. Holy shit it's a good thing she picked this up for me! I would have been screwed if I lost it! I don't even remember putting it in my pocket today. I looked up to her and smiled. "Thank you!" 

Her smile widened at my gratitude. "No problem." She looked to the side as if she were thinking. "You're in that girl Tsumiki's class, right?"

Why is the high school super model trying to make small talk with me? "Yes I am, why?" I asked while trying to keep my hand on my neck.

"Is she like always falling with her legs spread wide open?" She asked in a low tone as if it were some sort of secret.

I laughed a little at her question. "Yeah it's a little sad really." She smiled at my response. 

She grabbed something out of her purse and threw it at me. It was a miracle that I caught it. I looked baffled at the small circular container. Her smirk rose back onto her face. "It's foundation, for that big love bite on your neck. Next time tell your girlfriend to stop being such a slut" I almost choked at what she said. It was like her personality changed completely. I blushed slightly; I probably might have blushed more if she didn't call Komaeda a 'slut'. Well at least she doesn't know who it's from.

I looked to the floor and mumbled a "Thank you."

"Like I said, no problem sweetheart." She smiled again before walking away.

What a weird person. I wonder if her sister is the same way. I opened my door slowly to find Komaeda browsing on my computer.

"I'm back." I said indifferently.

He glanced at me for a moment and then turned back to the computer smiling. "I have been doing some research."

I shot him a puzzled glance and walked to where he was sitting. "About what?"

His smile grew a little. "Relationships."

I looked at what was on the screen. "'Dating advise for men'?"

He nodded. "You were right, Hinata-kun. Friends do not kiss each other." He sounded surprised at the fact. 

I rolled my eyes and continued to read what was on the page. "Komaeda I don't want you to believe in any of this crap." I said sternly.

He turned to face me. "Why not?"

I sighed for the tenth time today. "Well for one, I'm not a woman, and two, these are for men trying to get a date." I looked to the side. "And you already have one."

He smiled and grabbed my hand. "Alright. No dating tips then. Should I also disregard the sex tips?" He was still smiling like nothing he said was wrong.

I gave him a surprised look and I felt a small tinge of fear. "W-what kind of sex tips?" My face heated up once again.

His face had also gotten a little red at seeing my reaction to what he said. "Well I don't know what to do during such situations and I just wanted to know what the basics were just in case we wanted to one day. I made sure that I was looking at the ones where two men are involved." He paused after he said that. "What did Nanami say to you?" He changed the subject and I was pretty glad about that.

He looked guilty. He knows what he told her. And now he knows that I know what he told her. I gave him a small smile and tugged at his hand. "I'm not mad at you."

He let a breath out that he must have been holding in. "I'm sorry. I know you that didn't want anyone to know. I'm horrible Hinata-kun" 

"Don't say stuff like that." I tugged at his hand hard to pull him up. He accepted my silent request and stood up. I pressed a small kiss on his lips. I felt the same feeling in my chest that happens when we kiss. I know what that feeling is now, it's love. He smiled into the chaste kiss. 

I pulled back for a second to put the foundation on my desk. Before I could dive back into the kiss Komaeda stops and stares at the item on the desk. "What's that?" He looks baffled at the object.

I gave the item a small glance before turning back to Komaeda. "Foundation."

He nodded like he already knew. "Did Nanami give that to you?" His grip around my hand tightened. Why was he so interested in make-up all of a sudden?

I gave him a confused glance. "No. That girl in the class below us, Enoshima, she gave it to me after she returned my ID to me."

He scowled at the name Enoshima. Then he looked bewildered at me. He let go of my hand and sat on the bed. He ran his hand through his hair. 

I didn't move from my spot. "Are you alright, Ko?"

He looked up to me and smiled. I could tell immediately that it was a fake smile. "Hinata-kun, I love the amount of hope that you have, it's truly inspirational."

My confused expression didn't change. "Thanks? I guess." He's acting weird.

"No really. Compared to all of the despair out there I admire all of the hope within you." He pointed towards the door and smiled wider as he talked. Here we go again.

"Komaeda do you want to kiss?" I asked with a smile.

His smile fell before looking at me. His gaze trailed downward before nodding. 

I am so good at calming him down when he's like this. I smiled to myself before wrapping my arms around his upper back. He looked up before smiling softly at me. I love it when he smiles. It looks so natural on him. Sometimes I wish I could smile as much as him. "I love you, Komaeda." I can feel my face heating up a little. I can't help it. I'm not good with romance; especially around Komaeda. He makes me feel dizzy sometimes.

He smiles wider and closes his eyes. "You make me so happy, Hinata-kun. I hope that the despair never catches up to you." I thought he was over this already. Oh well, some days are worse than others. He pressed his lips against my forehead. It felt nice to have his warmth there. It felt nice just to be with him. I hate it when he talks about hope or despair. If he goes on like that for too long he does reckless stuff. That's just another thing I'm here for though. I keep him safe and he does the same for me. I wonder where that hope obsession came from in the first place. I hugged him closer to me.

"We should go on a date soon." Komaeda mumbled into my hair. That's another thing I love about Komaeda; when he gets an idea he rolls with it. Well when the idea gets pretty reckless I try to stop it, but at least he does what he believes is good.

"Yeah we should."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, any date ideas?


	6. Dating on a Sunday

Today is Sunday. I hate Sundays. They just make me think about all of the schoolwork I'm going to need to do tomorrow. Today is day two of Komaeda and me dating. My name is Hajime Hinata and today Komaeda is taking me on a date. Of course no one knows about us dating except for Nanami. I talked to her a little bit last night before bed through text. I told her about the date we planned on a whim. She wouldn't stop talking about how cute this was. She knows just how to embarrass me.

Komaeda had told me yesterday that he would get some stuff for us to have a picnic in the park. I asked him if he wanted some help, but he assured me that he had everything in check. We are going to the park around noon. It's supposed to be a nice day today, but you can never be too sure with Komaeda's luck cycle. 

I finally decided to wake up for the day. The first thing I saw was the wall. I was on my side. I tried switching positions so that I was on my back, but something was stopping me. I trailed one of my hands to my stomach. I felt a pair of arms holding me in place. I tilted my head to find cotton white hair on my shoulder. "Komaeda." There was no answer. I sighed impatiently. "Wake up." He was such a deep sleeper. He usually wakes up early, but when he doesn't it's hard to wake him up. I grabbed his arms to pry them off. He had a strong grip on me. 

"Come on Komaeda!" I said a little louder than I had earlier. I needed a shower and I'm not getting one an hour before we go on our date. Why did he have to decide to snuggle up to me this morning? I guess a better question would be why he wouldn't, we are actually dating now.

I felt him move his head a little bit. He lifted his head off of my shoulder for a second before dropping it back down. "No, Komaeda. Get up." I turned my head as far as it would go towards him.

He hummed in disapproval and burrowed his head deeper into the crook of my neck.

I groaned and tried to wriggle myself free. Komaeda's grip tightened the more I thrashed. "Please stay Hinata-kun." He slurred his words tiredly. How can he be so strong in the morning? 

"As much as I'd love to I need a fucking shower." The swearing was unnecessary, but I was getting tired of his antics.

He let out a sigh through his nose into my neck. I shivered at the warm breath. "I want you to sleep with me." He practically whined.

I let out a blush at how he worded that. "Don't say it like that..." I finally broke free from his grip after more wriggling. Before he could wrap his arms back around me I leaped over him and fell right on the floor. I tripped on his foot and fell on my stomach. "Oof...!"

He sat up quickly; his fluffy hair swayed with his movements. All evidence of him being tired disappeared. "Hinata-kun! Are you alright?" He showed concern for me while staring at me on the floor.

I sat up and gave him glare. "I'm okay, but next time please let me go." He nodded as his expression softened.

After my shower I decided to put the foundation Enoshima gave me on my now-healing bruise. It worked surprisingly well. I'll have to thank her again the next time I see her. I exited the bathroom to find Ko not there. I looked around my room until I found the note on my desk. "I went to the store to get some supplies for our date." I smiled and put the note back down.

I sat down at my desk and pulled up the internet. After blankly looking at the search engine I thought back to what Komaeda was doing yesterday. He said he was looking up sex tips. I blushed at the thought. I know I'm a teenage boy and my hormones are all over the place, but I can't help but be kind of scared to have sex. I heard it always hurts the first time, but that was for the girl. I'm a boy. I have a feeling that for our first time I'm not going to be the one to put it in... I shuddered at the thought. I knew Komaeda would take care of me, but... I groaned and shook my head.

Maybe I could see what sort of sex tips he looked up and that might reassure me everything would be alright. I went to the history and pulled up what he must have been looking at. After waiting a minute for it to load I gasped and put my hands to my face to cover my eyes. Holy shit was that...? I took a peek and brought my hands back to the mouse to shut off the volume. Yep, it's not a helpful article or anything like that. It's gay porn. I stared at it wide-eyed unable to comprehend what to do from there. They looked like they were enjoying themselves. What am I saying? I shut the browser down and slumped down in the chair. 

I've seen porn before, but that was different. That was something me and Komaeda would do one of these days. I never thought I would eventually have sex with my best friend. Did Komaeda really think that this was the best place to find tips? Well now that I think about it... I brought my hands up to my face and held them there. Maybe I should just talk to him about it.

As if on cue Komaeda opened the door while carrying a few plastic bags full of stuff. I ran over to him and took half of the bags. "Do we really need this much stuff?" 

He smiled and set the bags down. "Just in case."

I set my half of the bags next to his. "What did you get?"

"Nothing too important. However I guess food is important, but other than that, nothing." He continued to smile at me. He opened his arms widely and closed his eyes. 

I took his silent invitation and gave him a hug. As soon as I stepped forward he wrapped his arms around me. I let my chin rest on his shoulder as I took in his scent. He smelled like lotion and the grocery store. His wild hair was in my face, but I didn't mind. I could feel him rub my back slowly; he always does that when we're in some sort of embrace. Right before we separated he gave me a soft peck on the lips. 

He let go of me and held up a finger to tell me to wait a second. I gave him a confused look, but let him continue. He reached down into one of the bags and pulled out a carton of orange juice. "I picked up your favorite, Hinata-kun." He smiled while shaking the container. 

I gave him a perplexed look. "I'm glad you thought about me, but where would we put that?" We didn't have anywhere to store the orange juice and I doubt anyone else would take free orange juice.

His smile fell and he looked at the drink as if to see if it would provide any answers. "...Maybe we could put it in the kitchen." He said as his smile returned. 

I just thought it would be best to smile back and nod so I did just that. He must have like my response because he smiled wider and put it back in the bag.

I thought back to Komaeda's research and felt my smile fall. Should I talk to him about it now or after our date? I don't even know why I'm so worried about it. It's just sex. Some people do it everyday.

"Hinata-kun what's wrong?" I looked back up to find Komaeda looking troubled while I was thinking. 

I guess now's as good a time as any. "Can we talk about something... something personal." I said trailing my gaze away from him. Dammit I could feel my face heat up already and I didn't even say anything yet. 

"...Do you not love me anymore?" He looked like he already accepted his fate. He hugged himself as his head fell forward.

"No! No Komaeda, I love you. I just need to talk about something else..." His face lightened back up as he grabbed both of my hands and held it in his. Komaeda loves holding hands. For the first few days of our 'friend kissing' he would ask if I was okay before even touching me. Now he does it with no fear of me pulling away.

"You can tell me anything Hinata-kun." 

I paused before looking up to him. He smiled reassuringly. I sighed. "I don't want to have sex... I mean not yet at least! I just don't feel comfortable with... I do feel comfortable around you I just..." He silenced me by putting his lips on mine gently. He drew back after about two seconds.

"That's alright. I'm not 100% comfortable with it yet either. We just started dating, Hinata-kun. You told me not to listen to the dating tips, but it did say to wait a little while before we have sex. We will wait until we are both ready. Please do not worry yourself too much over it." He rubbed my hands comfortingly with his thumbs. 

It's times like these where I realize just how much I really do love Komaeda. I should have expected him to uncomfortable also. He probably also didn't expect to see what I saw earlier. He might have genuinely thought that that website had some sort of tips on it. I don't know what he thinks about and I'm not going to question him about it either.

I smiled towards him and leaned in to kiss him. He met me half way and took his hands off of mine so he could put them around my waist. I put my abandoned hands around his neck. I let my eyes shut and felt Komaeda's lips turn up into a smile. Before the kiss could go any farther Komaeda pulled away and looked at my alarm clock. "We should go now."

I nodded and let go of his neck. 

After a quick walk outside the building we arrived at our destination. We were situated underneath a tree on the Academy's grounds. He already set up a blanket beforehand. I could have helped but Komaeda wouldn't let me. I smiled as we sat down across from each other. He started pulling stuff out of the bags and setting up our lunch arrangement. After he was done it looked really nice. He set up the plastic utensils like they were actual silverware. He even put flowers in the middle of all of the food he decided to buy. 

"Sorry if it doesn't look proper." He said smiling. 

I shook my head. "You did an amazing job." I smiled reassuring him that I was happy. It was a little weird being out in the public on a date with Komaeda. Everyone should be in the cafeteria eating lunch so we don't have a very high chance of being spotted right now. It was still a little nerve racking knowing that he could kiss me at any moment out here.

He handed me a sandwich. I took it a little confused. "It's peanut butter and jelly" Komaeda said joyously. 

"If we're eating sandwiches then why did you get all of these forks and stuff?" I looked around at what he set up. He followed my gaze.

"Well it needs to look nice since we're on a date." He said taking a bite out of his sandwich.

I laughed a little bit at his logic. "It already looked nice." It did. It was surprisingly warm for the end of February. Komaeda wasn't even wearing his huge jacket out here. The leaves were just coming back and the sky was blue. The tree we were sitting under was next to a pretty pond with a bridge going across it. I liked this. It was calm and quiet.

He giggled softly "I suppose so." 

I took a bite at my sandwich. It was strawberry jelly, how did he know that I prefer strawberry over grape? I might have told him at some point, but I don't remember. I smiled to myself as I took another bite. I looked over to Ko to see him smirking to himself. He was probably proud of himself because he got it right. 

I suddenly felt like I was too far away from Komaeda. Sure I was about an arm's length away, but we were on a date and I want to be as close to him as possible. I stood up abruptly and walked around the blanket. Komaeda gave me a puzzled look until he realized what I what doing. Then he smiled wider than he had before. I plopped myself down next to him and let my head rest on his shoulder. I took another bite.

"Are you sure you want to be sitting like this in public?" He said with a smirk. He didn't care whether he was seen being romantic with me or not, but he would refrain himself for me if I asked him to. 

I just nodded against his shoulder. Nobody's out here right now anyways.

After we finished our lunch we continued to sit there for a little while. I continued to lean against him and he wrapped an arm around me. We didn't say anything; we didn't need to. We just enjoyed being with each other like this.

"...You two really are cute together." I jumped right out of Komaeda's grasp and fell back onto the grass. I looked up to see Nanami give me a bewildered look.

"Don't scare me like that." I said trying to catch my breath.

"Are you alright Hinata-kun?" Komaeda asked turning himself around.

She smiled "Sorry. I didn't mean to." 

"It's alright Nanami-san" Komaeda answered for me.

I sat back up. "She said that to me you know." I said half-smiling to him.

He held up his hands in a defense-like manor. "Ah, my mistake." He said still smiling.

Nanami moved to where I sat before I was sitting next to Komaeda. Well our date was fun while it lasted. "Aren't you supposed to be eating lunch in the cafeteria?" I didn't mean that in a rude way, but she does always eat lunch there.

"...I left." She said with her signature pause.

"I can see that, why?" I asked her.

"I was getting tired of Souda's whining and Tanaka's remarks to his whining." She replied while yawning.

I just nodded in agreement to what she said. That stuff happens every day. I felt Komaeda's arm move itself around my back. I felt my face heat up. Not in front of Nanami, you asshole!

Nanami seemed to notice but she didn't say anything. She just smiled when she saw it. 

"Ah Nanami-san was Nidai-kun at lunch today? He said he wasn't feeling too good yesterday." Komaeda said tugging me closer to him. I remained red-faced and silent.

She smiled a little more; she didn't seem tired anymore. "Yes he was. He said he had a minor case of 'the shits.'"

"That's good then. He seemed to be pretty sick." Komaeda remained smiling at the small talk.

"...Are you two on a date right now?" She asked still smiling.

I nodded while still in my own embarrassed corner also known as under Komaeda's arm.

"Oh well if you want me to leave I will." She said with her smile fading back into the empty look she previously had.

"No that's alright Nanami-san; we were just about to clear this stuff up anyway." Komaeda replied. He was totally just showing us off to the only person he could. It didn't help that she seemed to love every minute of it.

"Oh okay. I'll help you then." She replied as her smile returned.

After the three of us cleaned up we hauled the stuff that wasn't garbage back to our dorm room. It was a little strange how we only seemed to use half of what Komaeda bought. I wonder what the other stuff he bought was. Now me, Komaeda, and Nanami were in my room. She didn't pull out her game once. It was like she didn't want to miss a second of our new relationship shenanigans. 

"Thank you for helping us Nanami-san." Komaeda said with another one of his smiles. 

"Don't mention it." She said with a smile to compliment Komaeda's smile.

Komaeda then turned to me. He smiled wider. "I had a lot of fun today. We should go on another date soon." He said. "I already have other places planned." 

I smiled back to him and nodded. My face still hasn't regulated its blood flow. I just can't do this in front of Nanami. 

Komaeda stepped forward and gently grabbed my chin. I shut my eyes tightly. No he is not going to... Oh Komaeda please don't. He put his lips to my forehead softly and just as soon as he did he pulled back. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He didn't kiss me, well he did, but not like how I imagined he was going to. He respects how I feel. He knows I'm not comfortable when we kiss in front of others and he respects that. I don't know why it surprised me so much; he always knows how to make me feel safe and content. 

I looked over to Nanami. She looked pleased with our affections. "...Before you two get too invested in each other I'm going to go back to my dorm." She said with a smile.

"See you tomorrow Nanami" I said still pretty close to Komaeda.

After she closed the door I wrapped my arms around Komaeda's back and pulled his lips onto mine a little aggressively. He made a little noise in surprise. After a moment he reorganized his thoughts and folded his arms around me and let himself lean into the kiss. He felt a little smaller without his jacket on. 

I pulled back for just a second. "Thank you for taking me out on that date." After I finished what I needed to say I pushed myself back onto him. He didn't seem to mind it. He pushed against me just as hard. One of his hands left my side and found its way to my cheek. He caressed it gently compared to how rough we were being at the moment. After a few seconds we slowed ourselves down until we stopped. We both sat on the bed together and we turned on the television. We spent the rest of the day eating leftover food and cuddling while watching TV.

What a fun day. I never thought that one day me and Komaeda would go on a date and then kiss like it was nothing afterwards. I hope that we have more days like this in the future. I guess Sundays aren't so bad anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting urges to write sex scenes. Not just any sex scenes, but awkward, confusing, and emotional first-time sex scenes. That time will come eventually. I don't know when exactly, but eventually. I'm hoping for soon though.


	7. Noise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late upload. I have gotten writer's block since Friday.

Around two weeks ago we had our first date. It was surprisingly fun. We have yet to go on another date, but Komaeda has reassured me that we will go on another one soon. My name is Hajime Hinata and I think I'm finally getting used to this relationship.

Komaeda is still staying in my room and I still don't know why. Almost every morning he's up before I am. I'm thankful for that because if he doesn't wake up before me then I need to wake him up just to get him off of me. I can't help but enjoy that he's always there for me though. He helps me with my homework every other day; I couldn't be more thankful.

The day after our date I went and found Tsumiki to ask her not to tell anyone about my neck. She promised not to tell a single soul and then apologized for something. I don't really know what she apologized for. I then decided I should just tell her about me and Komaeda. Everyone will probably find out eventually anyway. She was a little surprised, but then she calmed herself and promised to not say a thing. Then she apologized for something completely unrelated. I'm relieved because she kept true to her word so far.

Right now Komaeda and I are in our now shared dorm room. Komaeda is doing his homework at my desk and I am lying in my bed while watching the television. I'm watching the news, but I'm not really invested in it. I'm actually pretty tired and could probably fall asleep right now if I wanted to. It's six in the afternoon so falling asleep right now would be a bad idea. 

I took my gaze away from the TV for a moment to look at Ko. He's hunched over the desk and scribbling something onto the paper. He occasionally runs his hand through his hair in concentration. He's wearing his usual clothes minus his jacket which is now discarded onto the floor. 

I looked back to the TV to see an office building on fire. The fire doesn't look too bad and no one has gotten injured, but they lost a lot of printers. I continued to stare blankly at the screen. I used to be terrified of fire when I was a kid. I was afraid that during the night my house would catch on fire and I would burn in my sleep. Of course that never happened, but I was always careful when it came to flames of any kind. My father smokes and when I was little I would always avoid him when he had a cigarette in his hand. Once when I was about five years old he accidentally burned me with one of his cigarettes while holding me. I never held it against him because he seemed more upset about it than I was; he continued to say sorry to me until I was ten. I still have a scar next to my belly button from that day. 

I have since gotten over that fear for the most part. At the moment I have only two known fears, snakes and spiders. One has too many legs and the other doesn't have enough legs. I don't know why I'm afraid of them I just am. 

I heard Komaeda put his over-used pencil down. I locked my gaze back on him. He turned his head toward me. "I'm done."

I lifted my head and let it rest on my arm. I refused to sit up. "Okay."

He lifted himself out of the chair and made his way to me. He sat on the bed in front of me, smiled and brushed some hair away from my face. I flinched at the sudden hand in my face. Komaeda giggled. "Let's go see a movie tomorrow." He said as he continued to run a hand through my hair. 

I looked back up to him and smiled. "Alright that sounds fun." Komaeda and I would only be able to go on a date during the weekend and tomorrow's Saturday. A movie does sound nice at the moment. I like going places with Komaeda. He makes even the simplest thing interesting whenever he has some obscure thing to say about it.

He smiled a little wider at me. "Can I lay down with you?" He asked quietly.

I nodded, but didn't budge a single millimeter. I couldn't see the news with him lying in front of me. There was a car crash about an hour ago, someone died. I don't know what I find so interesting about the local news. Maybe it's because it's local and it's happening around my area. I don't know. I heard Komaeda sigh as he climbed over me and lay down on the other side of the bed. I flinched again as he began to stroke my hair once more. He must have noticed because he's giggling again. 

After a few minutes of silence Komaeda wrapped an arm around my waist and he kissed the back of my neck lightly. I shuddered at the light feeling. "Hinata-kun I think we should get to know each other better." Komaeda said quietly into my neck.

I turned my body around so that I was now facing Komaeda. I gave him a puzzled look. "We've known each other since middle school; don't we know a lot about each other already?" I said just a little louder than when he asked.

"We do know a lot about each other, but I think we should learn even more things." He said giving me his trademark smile. 

I sighed but smiled anyway. "Alright what do you want to know?"

He paused for a moment to think about it. "What's your favorite color?" 

I laughed a little at his simple question. "Blue." I said still smiling. "Yours?"

"Green." He said that without much thought. "Your turn." 

"My turn?" I said a little confused.

"Ask me a question." He said reaching his hand out to grab mine. He took my hand and held it close to his chest.

I thought about it for a moment. What do I want to ask Komaeda? I guess I could ask him anything. "What type of music do you listen to?"

He took a little longer to answer this one. "I was going to say classical, but I guess any music that doesn't really have a lot of words in it seems good to me." He paused for a second putting his unoccupied hand up to his face in thought. "Why do you always get a shower in the morning and not at night?"

I was a little surprised at the weird question. "Hmm... I guess it's just a habit." I said kind of wondering myself. Komaeda giggled at my answer. Now what the hell should I ask him? I thought for a moment before a dangerous question popped into my head. I thought about thinking of another question, but I've always wanted to know this. "Why is 'hope' so important to you?"

His smile fell for a moment. He gave me a look like I just said something in a completely different language. Shit, I knew it was a bad idea to ask that. How dumb can I be? "Hope is the ultimate good in this world. Without hope no one would be alive because everyone would have no reason to go on in their own lives and end up killing themselves. Without hope no one would do anything because everyone would have no hope in anything they do. A hopeless world is a doomed world." His face remained unchanging as he talked passionately.

I feel like I should stop this before it goes too far. "Okay it's your turn." I said a little louder than he was mumbling.

He seemed to have snapped out of his trance-like state and gave me a guilty look. "I'm sorry." I just nodded in response to his apology. After a few seconds of more silence Komaeda smiled and opened his mouth again. "How wealthy are your parents?" Well that was a weird question.

"Not very. They spent almost all of their money to get me into the Prep School." I said looking away from Komaeda's face. I have always felt guilty about my parents almost going completely broke because of me. If I wasn't so useless then maybe I would have gotten into the main school without much of a problem. Komaeda looked kind of surprised at what I said.

"Really? My parents were very well off before they died. I have received all of their money through inheritance. The luck cycle can be cruel sometimes, but at least their deaths lead me to a greater hope." He was frowning up until he said the word hope. He raised my hand to his lips and he kissed the back of my hand softly. "I want to kiss you, Hinata-kun."

That was sudden. I guess it's not too odd that he wants to change the topic away from his dead parents. I smiled gently and met his lips half way to mine. Komaeda pushed relatively hard against my lips. I let my hands reach over to him to play with his soft hair. He made a small humming noise and lightly pushed me so that I was on my back. I opened my eyes to give him a questioning look, but his eyes were closed so he couldn't see it even if I tried.

Now we were in the same position we were in when he gave me my very first hickey. I should probably get nervous and try to yank him off, but I kind of don't want to. With my hands still in his hair I tried to pull him closer to me. I felt him smile. He tilted his head a little to get a better angle.

Suddenly he pulled away and looked down to me. I feel tired. I always feel somewhat tired after we kiss like that. I kind of expected his mouth to go on my neck but he was still staring down to me. I raised my eyebrows to question what he was doing. He opened his mouth a little, but then closed it again after a little while. Then he opened it again and this time sound came out. "Can we try something a little... different? Well I guess not really different, but just something a little more..." He sighed as his cheeks heated up.

I felt my face morph to show more confusion in my face. What does he mean by different? Well I guess there is only one way to find out. "Sure... just don't do anything too drastic." I was only half-joking.

He didn't really show any relief when I said that. He must be nervous about it. He looked into my eyes for a second before closing his eyes and lowering himself back onto me. I could feel the large chain that was connected to his pants hit my thigh. I closed my eyes as well. For a second nothing different was happening except for Komaeda's lips trembling a little against mine, but then I felt something different. Something weird. Something warm and wet brushing against my lips. It took me a few more seconds before comprehending what was happening. I took a sharp breath through my nose in surprise. He's trying to slip his tongue into my mouth. Why would he do that? Isn't that pretty unhealthy? I kept my eyes squinted painfully shut. His tongue massaged my lips gently. After a few seconds I let myself relax and trust him. The pressure his tongue was putting on my lips was actually sort of pleasing and a bit ticklish.

As soon as I felt my tense muscles relax against him I opened my mouth a little wider for him without much thought. Komaeda lifted himself up with his elbows and he titled his head a little. He lightly pushed his tongue into my mouth. I gasped at the new and unexpected feeling. His tongue rubbed against mine almost coaxing me to join his tongue. It felt surprisingly nice for something supposedly so gross. I licked at his tongue to experiment with the new form of kissing. He smiled and hummed with approval into my mouth. His tongue abandoned mine and had taken to exploring the rest my mouth. I used my tongue to stroke the bottom of his. He let out a short breath through his nose. I could feel his heart rate speed up.

He unexpectedly took his mouth off of mine and pulled back. His tongue was the last part that left contact. A string of saliva kept us connected for an extra second. I shuddered and closed my mouth. That felt weird. That was weird, but I couldn't help but get excited over the new feelings. Komaeda looked surprised himself. He glanced down to me and smiled softly. "I love you, Hinata-kun."

He tore me away from my conflicted feelings about the unusual kiss. I smiled back finally regaining the strength to speak. "I love you too, Ko." 

He leaned back down and pecked my lips quickly before moving down to my neck. Here he goes. He stopped with his face at my neck before doing anything. "Can I, Hinata-kun?" He asked smoothly.

I didn't say anything finding myself unable to talk once again. I just reached my hand to his hair and petted his head in approval. He must have taken the hint because not soon after he had his lips pressed against my neck gently. The gentle kisses then turned into gentle sucking. I closed my eyes at the feeling of his lips. I kept my hand in his hair to continue stroking it. Then his lips went down further. His mouth finally settled on a hidden vein in my neck and his tongue pressed against the vein as if he were checking my pulse in the strangest way possible. I don't know why but as soon as his lips started sucking on the pulse I felt a spark of pleasure go throughout my body. I could feel my cheeks heat up at the pleasure. I gasped at the lovely feeling. His lips formed a smile at my small reaction. He started sucking a little harder. He took one of his hands and used it to rub up and down my side. Why is he so good at this? He shouldn't be so good at this. The sparks of pleasure turned into a wave of pleasure. My hand in his hair gripped at the feeling of it. Before I could stop myself I opened my mouth. "Ahh..." What the hell was that sound? After a few seconds of processing I realized I made that sound. 

I sat up quickly and covered my mouth. In the process of my shock Komaeda fell off of me and landed onto the end of the bed. I felt my face go completely red. That noise was so fucking embarrassing. I sounded like a whiny girl in heat. I decided to cover the rest of my face as well. Oh my god my life is over. Komaeda is going to leave me because I'm fucking pathetic.

Speaking of Komaeda he must have readjusted himself because I felt his hands take my wrists to try and separate them from my face. "Hinata-kun I'm so sorry. I didn't know you would hate it that much. I'm surprised that you're still here and not kicking me out of your room. That is what I deserve after all." 

I let him finally remove my hands from my face. The truth is that I actually enjoyed his affection. I just hate how my body reacted to it. My face was still beat red. "I love you Komaeda, stop saying that bullshit about yourself." I said quietly.

He was still in distress but at least now he was calming down a little. His eyes lowered to the floor. "I'm sorry." 

I put my hands against his cheeks and pulled him into a quick kiss. After I let go I smiled softly. "It's not your fault. I just hate myself for making that weird sound." I said honestly.

Komaeda smiled again and put his hand in my hair to ruffle it. "Don't do that. It was cute, Hinata-kun." He said with a giggle. I felt my face flush once again. He thought it was cute? It sounded dirtier to me than anything. Well I guess I should be glad that he doesn't think the way I do. However I will not get over how embarrassing it was.

I stopped for a minute and thought about what just happened. The shit we just pulled could have come straight out of a soft core porno. Does this mean we're one step closer to having sex or something? Am I ready for sex? Is Komaeda ready for sex? I decided to stop thinking about it for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're ready for the most awkward sex scene in existence because that's coming next chapter. It probably will not be stimulating in any way. I promise you that Komaeda will not be as good as he is with kissing when I comes down to frickle fracking.
> 
> Sorry about the short chapter, the next one with be much longer.


	8. The Peak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW stuff in this chapter. Yeah we finally made it! We're crossing the finish line! I'm at least 99% sure there will be other chapters I'm just really happy that I can stop rushing everything just so I can write awkward sex.
> 
> Once again I'm sorry for the late post. Every time I get a chance to write my biological needs kick in and I collapse in my bed. Hopefully from now on things will be less insane.

Do you ever just know when your day is going to be out of the ordinary as soon as you wake up? That's kind of how I feel right now. Well I'm kind of feeling a lot of different things right now. My name is Hajime Hinata and it is four in the morning on a Saturday. It's really dark in my room right now. Not even the moonlight is shining through my curtains.

I woke up about five minutes ago and now I can't seem to go back to sleep. I'm shivering under the covers on my bed. I would try to get some warmth from my boyfriend Komaeda, but I don't want him to feel how hard my dick is right now. Oops probably forgot to mention that part huh. I don't really remember the dream that caused this; I think it involved Komaeda in some way. The only time I ever think of Komaeda indecently is when I'm wondering if he even wants to have sex with me. I can honestly say I have never gotten off on thinking about Komaeda. Don't get me wrong I am attracted to him in every way possible, I just feel that if I thought about him in a sexual way it would be like disrespecting him.

Komaeda's still very much asleep. I don't know what I would do if he wasn't. He's on his side facing me. His eyes are closed and he has tufts of fluffy white hair in his face. His mouth is also slightly open and I think he may be drooling a little bit. He looks like an angel when he's like this. It just makes me feel more ashamed of myself for being aroused when he could open his eyes any second to see me sweaty and flushed. 

If I could describe my expression right now it would be a mixture of fatigued and panicked. I remained lying down as I thought through my options. I could risk waking up Komaeda and try to scoot my way toward the bathroom. I could also just take care of my problem right here and now, Komaeda is a deep sleeper. No I'm ruling that one out entirely. I'm not jacking off in my own bed and making a mess, especially not in front of Komaeda. My final option is to just continue what I'm doing now and pray that my arousal softens. I decided on the latter option. 

I closed my eyes angrily while sighing through my nostrils. My hands were really cold when I came up with my new brilliant plan. Cold showers work for these situations so why won't my hands? I kept my eyes shut and slowly trailed my hand down my body. I stopped when I hit my waistline. After a short pause I dug my fingertips into my pants and then eventually to my underpants until I reached my destination. I winced when I finally took a hold of my erection. Shit that really is fucking cold! My other hand gripped at the blanket on top of me. I bit my lip to hold in my discomforted noise. I remained still and steadied my rapid breathing. Instead of cooling down my cock it seems to have done nothing but warm my hands. Great it's almost like I put ice cubes on my dick for nothing. I pulled out my hand agitated and let it flop onto my midriff.

I must have eventually fallen asleep because the next thing I knew Komaeda's soft hand was brushing the hair out of my face. My eyes opened slowly and looked at the boy leaning above me. "Good morning, Hinata-kun." He said with an almost relaxed smile.

Light was now pouring through my window. Komaeda hasn't changed his clothes yet it seems. He seemed to be glowing with the light behind him highlighting the tips of his messy hair. After my eyes adjusted to the light I smiled back up to him. "Good morning."

We exchanged our plans for the day. We were going to the movies tonight. I stayed covered until he eventually walked into the bathroom to change. After the door closed I patted my clothed groin with my hand. It seems we have recovered from the incident. Well I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. If I still had my erection at this point I would probably go see a doctor. Relieved, I got out of bed and got dressed. I did not need a shower this morning since I got one last night. We agreed to change our routine for once. This morning Komaeda will get a shower while he usually gets one at night. I can admit that getting a shower last night was calming and helped me get to sleep easier than I usually do.

I took a look at myself in the mirror above my dresser and scowled. My hair was sticking up in at least ten different directions. This will take some work.

After I fixed my hair and Komaeda emerged from the bathroom we went to the cafeteria for breakfast. We sat in our usual spot like every other day and the same people were there. They were serving blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes this morning. I smiled at my own food. I love pancake day. No one can be negative on pancake day. I like pancakes, Ko likes pancakes, Nanami likes pancakes, Souda likes pancakes, everyone likes pancake day.

While taking a bite of my chocolate chip pancakes Souda smirked in my direction before talking. "Man I couldn't sleep last night, it must have been from you and Komaeda fucking the night away." He giggled to himself. I never knew why Souda liked talking about us like that; it's a little strange if you think about it. I did flinch when he said that. I thought that he knew about us for a second. I composed myself rather quickly though.

I took his smirk and gave him my own. "Yeah me neither, but it wasn't from us. You must have been crying yourself to sleep again." Kuzuryuu thought it was funny.

Sonia giggled. "That was a good one Hinata-san!" Souda gave her a look like his heart was shattered. 

As breakfast continued I noticed Tsumiki gazing towards me and Komaeda every so often. She's been doing that ever since she found out about us. Nanami also watches us from the corner of her eye and she thinks I don't notice. I obviously do. Komaeda restrains himself from touching me in the cafeteria. Sometimes he sneaks his arm around me, but he never tries to kiss me. I also try to avoid looking at him too much in public. I don't even know what he's doing right now. I know that he got blueberry pancakes though. Those are his favorites. When everyone was done eating and cleaned up after themselves I approached Nanami before she left the cafeteria. Komaeda was waiting for me by the door.

"Nanami can I ask you something please?" I said quietly while avoiding her gaze.

"...Yes Hinata-kun?" She said with a tilt of her head. She held the same blank look she always had. 

"Komaeda and I are going to the movies and I want you to come." I said even quieter than I was before.

"...You want me to be your third wheel?" She asked not changing her stance.

I nodded shamefully. Our friends go to the movies all the time and if they see me and Komaeda hanging out there without Nanami they knew that something would be going on.

"Sure... But only on two conditions." She said finally cracking a smile.

I looked back up and gave her a puzzled glance.

"One, I will sit near you two. Two, I am not being a third wheel. I want to bring a friend with me." She finished with a little nod of her head.

I panicked at her words. Friend? I guess I can deal with her sitting near us, but her bringing a friend? No that wouldn't be- 

Before I finished my thought Nanami started conversing again. "Don't worry about it. I promise she won't tell a soul about you two. She's not even from this class." She must have noticed my worry and is trying to reassure me that everything will be alright.

I thought for a second. I raised my head back up to face her. "Alright, but only if you promise she won't tell anyone." 

Nanami smiled again and nodded. I sighed in relief. Tonight is going to be great. 

Komaeda and I showed up to the movie theater about a half-an-hour early. I made sure to ask him not to show me any affection until the lights were out. We stood in the lobby waiting for the other 'guests' to arrive. I had my arms crossed impatiently. I told them to be here at this time.

"What do you want to watch, Hinata-kun?" Komaeda asked with a smile on his face. He leaned his elbow on my shoulder, practically lounging on me.

"I don't really mind any of them. I'll watch whatever everyone wants to watch." I was honest when I said that. I haven't heard of any of the movies that are out right now. 

Komaeda nodded in agreement. "I don't watch a lot of movies." He said softly leaning into my ear. His breath tickled my unsuspecting skin.

I scowled at him and at my own blushing self. I took a hold of his elbow and lightly pushed him off of me. He stumbled a little, but didn't fall over. He stood straight up again and giggled. "That hurt a little."

"No it didn't." I said smirking to him.

"Maybe it didn't but it hurt me emotionally." He said smirking back.

I looked him up and down. "Yeah you look pretty hurt." He giggled again. He reached forward to grab my hands but I lightly smacked them away.

"Not now." I said looking away from him. He gave me a look of disappointment. Before any sort of self-loathing could start Nanami and her guest walked in.

She and her friend walked over to us and Nanami gave us a smile. "Guys this is Chihiro Fujisaki, she is the super high school programmer. She's my cousin." Nanami said raising a hand to gesture to her friend.

"N-nice to meet you." Fujisaki said cheerfully and smiling up to us. She's quite short; maybe even under 150 centimeters tall. "Nanami-chan told me about you two. You two look very cute together... I'm sorry if you didn't want me to know." She looked like she was about to cry when she apologized.

"No no, it's alright. I don't mind." I said quickly trying to cheer her up.

She smiled again and giggled. I can admit that she is a very cute girl. I always wondered what was so great about the amazing programmer at our school, but now I see how some can flock to her. She's polite and quite adorable.

No matter how cute she is I wouldn't trade Komaeda for her. Komaeda is cute too in his own way and he's so nice to me. I don't think I would trade Komaeda for anything in the world. I felt him take my hand, but I didn't swat him away this time. I held his hand tightly in my own.

"Let's go pick which movie we want to see." Komaeda said, his smile was audible in his voice. Nanami nodded while smiling. She loves it when we sneak little signs of affections around her. She loves it almost as much as Ko loves holding my hand.

We picked a random comedy that was playing tonight and we took our seats. Me and Komaeda were sitting next to each other of course. We sat in the middle of the theater. When Nanami said she would sit near us she apparently meant that she would sit directly behind us with her cousin. We bought a large popcorn to share. Komaeda asked if we should get a large soda to share, but that wasn't going to happen. We just bought a medium for the both of us. No sharing drinks tonight. 

The advertisements have been playing for almost fifteen minutes now. Komaeda almost ate half of our popcorn already. "Hey Ko, how about you wait until the movie starts before you finish that." I said while lightly smacking his hand away from the popcorn container.

He gave me a slight pout. "I bought it."

"Because you have money." I said playfully. 

He turned his head back toward me and held my hand again. "You would be wealthy too if we got married." He continued smiling and brought his face down to kiss my cheek.

I blushed and pulled away. "Not until it gets dark, remember?" As soon as I said that the lights dimmed almost as if they were begging him to continue. He pecked my cheek lightly.

"See Hinata-kun? I followed the rules."

"Be quiet." 

After about half of the movie had gone by I excused myself to the bathroom. It looked like a boring part anyway. I exited the theater to be greeted by silence. It seemed too quiet compared to the loud movie going on inside.

After I finished my bathroom business I took my time going back to the movie. I reached the door I was supposed to go in but I was interrupted by someone putting their hand on my shoulder. I turned around quickly to find... "Enoshima? What are you doing here?"

The model smiled. "Well it is a theater so I would guess that I was watching a movie." She said sarcastically. "I see that make up has worked wonders on you." The smirk on her face grew a little larger as she looked me up and down.

I looked up to the tall girl and smiled while rubbing the back of my neck. "Yeah... Thanks again for that stuff." I said quietly. I was wearing some right now actually from last night's make-out session.

"Sorry for keeping you away from the show. I just wanted to say hi." She seemed to have gotten bored from the conversation pretty fast. She turned to walk away, but before she started walking she looked over her shoulder and smiled. "I wouldn't want you to keep your boyfriend waiting, Hinata."

I reached out to her. I was left shocked. "H-hang on a second... how do you know about that?" I asked desperately, but she continued to walk away. 

How the fuck does she know about me and Komaeda? The only person who would even want to tell her is Tsumiki, but she doesn't break promises very easily. She probably seen us holding hands in the lobby. I walked down the isle and plopped myself down next to Komaeda. 

His face turned towards me. His face lit up with flashing images from the screen appearing on his face. He smiled softly. "Welcome back."

I kept silent at his greeting. My eyes trailed over his head. "What's wrong Hinata-kun?" His smile disappeared and was replaced with a concerned line. 

I looked back at his face. "I... I think they're catching onto us." I said leaning in so he could hear me.

"Who is catching on?" He asked with the same emotion.

"That girl Enoshima told me to go back to my boyfriend after stopping me outside." I said flatly.

He scowled before I even finished. His fists clenched. "Enoshima... Knows about us?" This was an emotion that I don't see in Komaeda very often. It was like he was angry and scared at the same time. Why is he so upset? It's only one girl.

I nodded a little confused at his present emotion. He shoved both of his hands into his hair violently. He rubbed his head swiftly as if he were in a life or death situation. I looked back to Nanami and Fujisaki. They looked as confused as I was.

I put my hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Ko please calm down. It's no big deal." I said in a light tone to try and calm him down. 

He whipped his head towards me and stared at me for a few seconds. "Komaeda?" I asked softly.

"Come with me." He said softly. His expression changed from scary back to neutral. He grabbed my wrist without warning and dragged me into the isle. I wordlessly followed him. I gave one last confused look to the concerned duo behind us. He dragged me outside of the theater. Then he dragged me back to the school grounds. Finally he dragged me to my room and shoved me inside. Our second date was definitely not as successful as the first.

"Komaeda, what the hell are you doing? What's wrong?" I asked agitated while standing sternly in front of him. He locked the door and turned around to give me a apologetic look.

"I'm sorry Hinata-kun I really am. You need to understand that I will not let the ultimate despair loiter around you." He said crossing his arms. He took a step forward. "If any harm were to come to you from the ultimate despair I would be fully responsible."

I gazed at him while holding my concerned and baffled expression. "What do you mean 'ultimate despair'?" I talked slowly to Komaeda. He was pretty fragile at this point. He could go on a hope rampage at any second.

He shook his head and sighed. "You do not need to worry about it. I will take care of any problem that comes our way." He finally smiled again. "But for now please try to stay with me at all times. If you were harmed I would want to be the first one to help you." He took another step forward and wrapped his arms around me in a loose embrace.

I wrapped my arms around him as well. What the hell is he even talking about? For all I know he's just having one of his hope episodes. However this isn't like his usual hope episodes.

He leaned in and kissed me gently. My eyes fluttered closed. He massaged my lips with his for a few minutes before pulling back. I opened my eyes in surprise at his abrupt stop.

"Hinata-kun when will you be ready to have sex?" He asked quietly while still holding me in place.

I stared at him wide-eyed. "Huh?" Does he want to have sex? Oh no I knew this would come eventually. Am I ready? I don't know... Maybe that dream meant that I was ready. What if it meant the opposite?

He giggled and pressed his forehead against mine. "Relax Hinata-kun. I'm just asking. I didn't mean to surprise you."

I stayed quiet as I thought about it. Sex with Komaeda. Losing my virginity. One of the ultimate forms of trust and love. Do I trust Komaeda completely? I think I do. Do I love Komaeda completely? I'm pretty sure I do. "Yes." I said quickly and monotonously.

He looked back to me puzzled and surprised. "Wait... Huh?"

"Yes." I repeated. I felt the heat rush to my face. My body was stiff in its place.

"What do you mean yes?" He asked again. I don't think I have ever seen him confused for this long.

"I'm ready to have sex with you." I said awkwardly. It felt very unnatural on my tongue to tell him that.

He continued to stare at me. He looked like he didn't understand what I was saying at all. "Now?" He asked after a while. He bit his lip and looked away from me.

My blush darkened. "I... I don't know. If you w-want to we can." I said nervously. Am I really going to lose my virginity tonight? I guess if I were going to I'd want it to be my best friend that does it.

He took a hold of my hands and held them gently. "If you feel discouraged we do not have to. I do want to make love with you eventually, but not if it meant you would feel discomfort. I don't want sex for pleasure though; please keep that in mind." He said calmly.

Him saying that actually calmed me down a little. I took a few deep breaths before speaking. "Komaeda I want to make love with you too." I said with a smile. I felt my smile twitch. I'm still nervous.

He smiled back. "Are you sure?" He said leaning closer to my face.

I nodded before pressing my lips onto his. Komaeda put his arms back around me once again and leaned into me. I stepped backwards until the back of my legs hit the edge of my bed. My arms rested on his shoulders. He prodded his tongue at my lips. After a few seconds I opened my mouth to let him in. His tongue stroked against my gums. He seemed to be trying to experiment with our kisses. I tore his appendage off of my gums with my own tongue. He hummed against my lips. I sighed through my nose in a sort of laugh. He grazed his tongue over mine while I did the same to his. This is pretty gross, but I can't help but love the feeling of it.

He raised a hand to my face to brush away some of the stray hairs dangling in his way. He trailed his tongue once again away from mine and swiped it against my teeth. He did it slowly like he was counting my teeth individually. I felt saliva drip out of my mouth and onto my chin. I couldn't tell if it was mine or his. I pushed my tongue into Komaeda's mouth slowly. If he can have his tongue waltz into my mouth then why couldn't I do the same to him? His mouth tasked like butter and soda from the movies. It wasn't a bad taste in any way. I felt his mouth as much as I could. He had rough feeling cheeks; he must have a bad habit of biting them.

As I was doing my exploring I felt Komaeda moving. He was taking off his jacket. In no time at all it was on the floor and he had his arms back around me. I pulled back from the kiss. He gave me a puzzled look. I looked away from him, trying to hide my blush as I unbuttoned my shirt and untied my tie. We are really doing this huh? Komaeda must have followed my lead because when I looked back his shirt was also discarded. He gazed down my body and then back up. I did the same. I could see his ribs in his chest.

He reached out and touched my side cautiously. I flinched at how cold his hands were. He gave me a questioning look. I nodded to him to tell him that I didn't mind if he touched me. He nudged me to sit on the bed. We both took a seat on the bed. Komaeda trailed his fingers up and down my chest. I sat still while he indulged himself. His finger stopped near my belly button. "Where did you get this?" He asked smoothly. I looked to where he was pointing.

"Cigarette accident." I said smiling to him. I put my hand on his shoulder and rubbed it a little. He didn't flinch like I did. 

"You used to smoke?" He asked with interest. 

"My dad does." I replied to him. What a simple conversation. Is this what people do before sex?

"Oh." He said simply.

After a small pause Komaeda looked at me blankly. "What now?" He asked curiously.

"What?" I asked him. What is he talking about?

"What do we do now?" He asked again.

I blushed once more. "I think we need to... uh take the rest of our clothes off."

He smiled. "Oh of course. How idiotic can I be?" He reached down and popped open a button on his pants while he kicked off his shoes. After a second of gazing at him while he was stripping I quickly worked my pants off. Soon enough we were both in our underwear. I felt my nerves act up again. This really is happening. Komaeda brought a hand up to my face and held it there lovingly. "If you don't want to-"

"No I do!" I said defensively. I sat up on the bed and pulled down my boxers swiftly. I felt cold immediately. While my bottom half was cold my top half was burning. I wriggled the fabric off of me and tossed it to the floor. Komaeda looked at my now exposed body. Why the hell did I do this? This is a bad idea. I feel like I could pass out from embarrassment.

After Komaeda got a good look at what I had he sat up and did the same thing while also blushing. Do we have any idea what we're even doing? I looked at Komaeda's package. Holy shit he was actually pretty hard. What did I do to make him like that? It wasn't too big like the media says dicks are, but it looked like it totally shouldn't go in my asshole. Here we are two best friends naked and about to fuck. Nothing weird here.

Komaeda continued to blush as he bit his lip. Holy shit why does he look good doing that? "Now what Hinata-kun?" He asked. His voice wavered now as he talked.

I thought about it for a second. "Ah shit. Komaeda we don't have anything to make it go in easier. We can't do this I-" Before I finished he leaned down to one of the various plastic bags, pulled out a bottle, and tossed it to me. I looked down to the foreign object. "When the hell did you buy lube?" I asked more astonished now than anything.

He shrugged and looked anywhere but my face. "When I got food for our picnic." He said trailing his eyes around the room.

I laughed a little. Of course he would buy lube the day after we first started dating. I leaned in and kissed his lips gently. He responded by grabbing my sides and pulling me closer to him. I was now straddling his lap. We both kept our blushes. His dick was rubbing against my stomach. He shivered underneath me. I lifted myself up and back down so my body was rubbing against his member. He gasped and dug his head into my shoulder. His dick was surprisingly sensitive. He probably never touched himself before.

I took a risk and let my hand brush against his shaft. He inhaled sharply once more into my shoulder and I felt him start to sweat. I felt my own cock respond to his reactions as it began to harden. Our cocks were now kind of resting against each other. Komaeda looked back up to me. His face was shrouded in anticipation. "Can we begin now please?" He asked breathlessly. 

I just stared at him for a second. I realized I have been stalling this for a little while now. Let's get it over with. I nodded. "What now?" I was the one that asked this time.

He paused and finally regained his thoughts. "Can I use the sex tips?" He asked cautiously. I nodded once again.

He reached past me for the bottle. When he grabbed it he turned to face me and blushed. As soon as we made eye contact he looked away. "Can you lay down please?" He asked still looking away from me. I flipped onto my back. 

I felt weird being naked in front of Komaeda. I feel even weirder looked up at him while he pours liquid onto his fingers. Why am I lying down? Komaeda coated his fingers in the slippery substance before setting it on the nightstand. He looked down at me and tried to give me a smile, but it looked very forced. "Lift up your waist a bit please." He said quietly and nervously. What is he doing? 

I lifted my waist up as high as it would go. He reached his hand under me. I gasped audibly when his semi-cold hand touched my ass. His finger continued to search until it found my hole. I shuddered at him just resting it there. "K-Komaeda what are you doing?" I asked restlessly. 

His face was completely red. "If I don't do this it will hurt much more when I put it in." He said apprehensively. 

I didn't ask anything else. He took my silence as a sign to continue and rubbed his dripping finger around my hole. It felt really weird and a little ticklish. Then he put some pressure on his finger and it slowly disappeared into me. "Ah... Ouch!" I gasped at the foreign object now inside me. It burned my inner walls. It was only one of his fingers and it burned. 

He stopped moving. "Are you alright Hinata-kun?" He asked frantically. I took a minute to adjust to the feeling until the burning became less intense. 

"Y-yeah. Do what you need to do." I said between gasps.

He nodded and moved his finger in and out of me slowly. I grunted at the movements. How is this supposed to be pleasurable? I felt my frown deepen when I felt another finger push against my hole. When it went in the burning returned, but it was a lot more bearable this time. 

"Are you still alright?" He asked guiltily at my pained expression.

I nodded. The new finger along with the old finger began to separate and come back together in a scissor-like motion. It really hurt. I bit my lip to hold in my moans of pain. This went on for what seemed like hours. It was probably only five minutes though. Suddenly Komaeda curled his fingers and an unexpected feeling washed over me. It was like a typhoon of pleasure. I felt my body spasm at the sudden feeling. "Ahhhhh... Kooomaedaaa..." There was that weird noise again, but I was too busy enjoying what just happened to notice. I seen flashes in my vision along with the pleasure. 

Komaeda immediately took his fingers out of me and looked scared out of his mind. "Hinata-kun! I'm so sorry! You should have told me it was awful! I didn't mean to hurt you." He pleaded. 

After a few seconds of Komaeda babbling about being sorry I came down from my high. "Komaeda..." I started to say. He shut up and looked at me with concern. "Do that again please." I asked him. My eyes felt droopy after that feeling.

He stared at me with doubt. "You... liked that?" He asked still nervous.

I nodded quickly. "It felt really good..." I said honestly. Now I see why people do this.

He put his two fingers back in slowly like he had before. The burning had slowed down now. He looked for the spot that I liked and when he found it it had felt just as good as it had the first time. "Mmmmm" I tried to hold it in, but I couldn't help but make that noise. It just felt too good. Komaeda smirked. He felt confident now.

"Can we try it now?" He asked timidly while still holding that smirk. 

"Okay." I would like to get this part over with. If it burned with just his finger, I'm in for a hell of a lot of trouble.

He coated his member with the lube and hummed at the feeling. When he was done spreading out the liquid he looked at me for a second. He looked like he was pondering something. He grabbed one of my legs and hoisted in over his shoulder. I followed his lead and put my other leg on his shoulder for him. He crawled closer to me. My legs were stretching almost painfully as they were bending back and almost hitting my chest. He positioned himself over my hole. I closed my eyes nervously. He leaned down and kissed my forehead before coming back up and he pushed his cock in slightly. He let out a groan at the feeling. His eyes were squinted shut and his hair stuck to his sweat-covered face.

I never thought the stretching would end. It only went in past the tip a little before I burst into gasps of pain. "Stop, please stop Koooo." I moaned out. He stopped where he was and looked down to me.

"Do you want me to take it out?" He asked almost panicking again. 

I considered it for a second. No. We already came this far, we are not stopping here. "No just let me get used to it." I said slowly. After a few minutes it did feel like it numbed a bit. This was my chance. "Ko." He looked back to me and raised an eyebrow. "Put it in all at once. In one thrust." I said boldly. 

He shook his head violently. "No Hinata-kun, I'm not hurting you like that." 

"Just trust me." I said closing my eyes.

There was a pause. I felt him pull out a little, but then he slammed back into me. I felt myself almost scream at the pain. I felt painfully stretched and full. Komaeda let out a loud moan when he thrust himself in. "You're really warm." He said through his panting.

I bit my knuckle and squinted my eyes shut. Komaeda didn't ask me if I was okay because he knew I wouldn't hear him. He stayed still and restrained himself. 

When the pain went from a 10 to a 9 I decided to let Komaeda indulge through my pain. He does enough for me that I can let him have this one. "M-move." I said while my voice had shaken.

"Are you-"

"I'm sure."

He went slowly; probably painfully slow for him, who felt nothing but pleasure. He went out and then in then back out then back in. It kind of numbed the pain a bit. Sometime during his slow thrusts the pain disappeared. Then it turned into minor pleasure. Why does this feel so good? I didn't want to think about it. "Komaeda... Go faster." I pleaded to him.

He looked at me and then nodded. He seemed relieved that he could move at his own pace now. As he went faster the pleasure built up with it. Komaeda leaned back into my neck and sucked on it while he moaned. 

I gripped at his bare back and panted loudly. The pain was completely gone without a trace. With every thrust I felt my cock twitch in pleasure. I moaned shamelessly. His member felt so perfectly in me. It was like he was meant for me. All of the pain seemed worth it now. The pleasure kept building and building. I didn't know when it would stop. Well I guess I knew about a few seconds later because I found myself screaming his name before I made a mess on both him and me. I let my legs go limp on his shoulders. After a few more thrusts I felt him slow down. He pulled his head back and kissed me lazily on the lips. After the kiss he pulled his pulsing cock out of me. After the tip left me I felt thick liquid seep out of my asshole. I knew what it was but I didn't think about it. He dropped my legs carefully back onto the bed. It felt nice to have them stretched back out.

I felt a little empty without him in me. Komaeda leaned over and grabbed a few tissues. I took them from his hand and wiped off my chest and then his. We didn't say anything after that. We kind of giggled childishly and that was the last thing I remembered before I passed out with him laying on top of me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it's a little fast-paced, but I'm too tired to fix it up a bit. I'll look over it and make some small changes in the morning.
> 
> Also don't worry if they missed out on all of the fun yaoi fanfiction cliches. They're just beginners and they will have plenty of sex in the future.


	9. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you have probably noticed the chapters have been uploading very slowly and I'm very sorry. I promise you it is not my fault. If I'm not working on school projects then I'm asleep from pushing myself too hard to write. Then when I wake up I'm not satisfied with what I have written and try to re-write it and then half way through writing this chapter it was unexpectedly deleted due to a power outage so it's despairingly short. So please be patient with me and I will try to upload the next one as fast as I can.

The first thing I felt was dizzy. Nothing else except maybe a little confusion. I kept my eyes closed, because I didn't know what I would see when I opened them. I was still trying to determine if last night was a dream or not. My name is Hajime Hinata and last night I lost my virginity to my best friend.

I decided to finally face the music and open my eyes. I was lying on my back and the first thing I saw was the ceiling of my dorm room. There were multiple lines of light on the ceiling due to the blinds on my window. The lines wouldn't stay in one place for me. They swirled around slowly and it looked like there were eight lines when it was probably more like four. 

I let my head fall to the left. Komaeda was staring at me silently. When I met his eyes he smiled softly but remained silent. He looked like nothing happened at all last night, but I was sweating and light-headed. Komaeda actually had his clothes back on. He must have put them on last night after I blacked out. His hair wasn't even that messy this morning.

I closed my eyes again in hopes that my vision would heal itself. Something soft touched my face lightly. I opened my eyes once more. Komaeda was still smiling as he let his hand rest on my face. "I forgot to tell you how much I love you last night." He said softly.

I smiled back to him. So it wasn't just a dream after all. "I love you too." My voice was hoarse and it cracked half-way through, but Komaeda still smiled wider anyway.

"I'm sorry, Hinata-kun, for everything." He dropped his smile and gave me an apologetic look.

I held my smile. "For what exactly?" When we had sex last night it did hurt, but it also felt really good. Was the pain worth the pleasure? I'm not really sure myself, but I do know that me and Komaeda can fully trust each other with just about anything now and that itself is worth the pain.

"For making you cry last night. I didn't know it was that bad. I promise we won't do anything like that ever again." He said taking his eyes off of me guiltily. 

I gave him a confused look. I cried last night? Oh man that's embarrassing. The more I think about last night the more embarrassed I feel. We just decided to have sex on a whim and then we just guessed on what we should do. Maybe we should have waited longer. "I... didn't even know that I cried." I coughed to try and get my voice back to the way it's supposed to be. "You don't need to make a promise like that. It felt good didn't it?"

He smiled and nodded. He then had taken his hand off of my face and shoved it under the covers so he could grab mine. When he found my hand he held it gently. "Did we go too fast?" He was quiet as he said that.

He wasn't specific with what he was saying, but I knew what he meant. "Probably... But I don't regret it." I was telling the truth when I said that. I didn't realize how significant last night was for us until now. 

"Then I don't either." Komaeda propped himself up on his elbow and leaned down to kiss me. It was short compared the kisses last night. He pulled back and smiled wider. "You need a shower."

I gave him a sarcastic smile. "Gee thanks." I went to sit up, but then I went right back down. I hissed in pain.

"Are you alright?" The voice beside me sounded concerned and guilty. 

"I don't think I'm leaving this room today." I said putting my hand under the covers to feel the damage. I don't know how, but it seems that Komaeda put my boxers back on me while I was asleep. I'm not complaining though. My ass felt fine until I reached the hole. Then it was like a lightning bolt of pain up my spine.

Komaeda nodded at nothing in particular before he threw his legs over the bed and stood up. "Would you like some breakfast?" He said as he bent his back backwards to stretch.

"Yes please." I didn't move from my spot. I was afraid to move.

Komaeda lifted his shirt over his head. I gasped at the claw marks on his back. I did that didn't I? The marks were short, but very red. I didn't realize that I might have hurt him too. He put one of his many T-shirts on and turned back to me and smiled. "It doesn't hurt as much as you think it does." He said reassuringly.

I looked up to his face and smiled a smile that was full of guilt. "I love you Ko."

He smiled a little wider and leaned back down to me. "I love you too." He kissed me softly for a few seconds before pulling back so he could change his pants.

After Komaeda changed he left our room to get us breakfast. For some reason he locked the door on his way out. I looked at the ceiling for a few minutes before deciding that I should really clean myself up. Komaeda seemed to have gotten rid of all the 'evidence' last night while I was asleep. I threw the covers off of me and tried to sit up again. Through a little self encouragement I managed to get into a sitting position. I leaned forward and backward until I found a spot that wouldn't bring me pain. I groaned quietly and thought about lying back down and taking a nap. I ignored the idea and turned to get off of the bed.

After struggled to stand up I limped my way over to my dresser. I stopped halfway when I felt something odd. It felt like something was leaking out of my... I flinched when I realized what was happening. I really need to take a shower. When I reached my dresser I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked very tired. My face was shiny with sweat and my hair looked greasy. My neck looked like it was attacked by an octopus or something. At this rate my neck will have more bruises than skin. No wonder Komaeda told me to take a shower. I look disgusting this morning. My appearance was no doubt caused by last night's endeavors. I pulled open the necessary drawers on my dresser and got some clothes ready for this hopefully uneventful day. 

I turned around and stood still for a few seconds to think. Everything I look at reminds me of last night. The curtains, the television, the door, the bed, everything reminds me of it. Some of this stuff has nothing to do with what happened, but my thoughts just trail to sex. I remember the first time I had ever witnessed sex of any kind. I was about nine years old and was curious as to what this sex was everyone was talking about so I googled it. I'm pretty sure a nine-year-old should not be looking at porn. After that mishap I couldn't look at anything without seeing a vagina or an erect penis. I never thought those visions would go away, but they did after a week or so. This time the visions are more like memories and instead of genitals I see Komaeda hovering over me. Definitely not as gross as genitals. 

I slowly made my way over to my bathroom. God I hope this ass pain goes away soon. I took off the only clothing I had on and tried not to look at the mess made in them as I threw them into the clothes basket. It had taken a little bit of effort to get used to the shower today. I made sure to scrub every inch of my body. It's not like Komaeda is dirty or anything I just want to be rid of any indication that it happened from my body. Of course the pain was still there anyhow.

After my shower I put a layer of foundation on my damaged neck. I don't remember him doing this to me. Well I was probably more preoccupied with other things at the moment. When I left the bathroom my boyfriend still wasn't back which was a little odd. I sat down at my desk despite my agony and turned on the television. 

According to the news there is a police chase happening right about now. I laughed to myself as I thought about maybe that's where Komaeda is. I knew he wasn't though; he didn't even have his license yet. After about ten minutes I heard Komaeda unlock the door and walk in. He tossed a granola bar onto my desk.

I turned to welcome him back but he was surprisingly upset-looking. "Komaeda are you alright?" As soon as I asked that he smiled again like he was never upset in the first place.

"Of course... Did anyone come by here while I was gone?" He said nonchalantly. He was trying to look calm, but I could tell he was worrying about something. It was probably this 'Ultimate Despair' he always gets upset about now a days. 

"No, just me and the shower." I said holding out my hand to him. He smiled and leaned to my hand. I ruffled his hair before pulling him into a quick hug. "Are you worried about something?" I asked curiously.

He pulled back from my hug and gave me a gentle smile. "No. I don't think I have anything to worry about because you are definitely someone who embodies hope, Hinata-kun" 

I rolled my eyes playfully at him mentioning hope. After a moment of silence I thought about something that has been bothering me recently. "When can you go back to your room?"

He looked a little surprised at the sudden question before crossing his arms defensively. "Do you want me to leave?"

I smiled and shook my head. "No I'm just wondering."

His smile returned after that and he looked up like he was thinking. "Whenever I get my key back."

I gave him a befuddled look. "You lost your key? Don't you know that I have your spare one?"

He looked anxious as he kept his arms crossed. "I know that. I just don't want her to know that." His eyes darted all over the place after he said that, almost like he made a mistake.

I was confused for a moment. Her? Who's her? Nanami? No she knows I have his key. Who is her? "Who?" I was a little skeptical.

He looked to the ground. "No one important. She took my key from me." I could tell Komaeda definitely didn't want me to know who this was specifically, but who the hell would take his key? 

"Why would someone want take your key?" I was a bit irritated that someone would steal something from Komaeda. His key of all things.

He brought his eyes up to look at me for a second. "To bring me despair and nothing else. If she knows that you have my key she'll try to hurt you to make me feel despair. I want you to be safe and that is why you need to stay in my sights until she is dead." He took a long breath after saying those things.

I have more questions now than answers. The first question is who the hell took his god damn key? The second is why would this person want to bring Komaeda 'despair'? The third is why is this person so dangerous? And the last one is why does she need to die so Komaeda can be safe from her 'despair'? For now though I knew that if this conversation would go any farther I would get nothing but nonsense. "I will take your word for it for now, but you need to promise me that you will tell me who this person is sooner rather than later."

He kept his gaze pointed to the floor and he looked defeated. "I promise." 

I smile and stood up. I ignored the pain the best I could and wrapped my arms around his torso. He looked me in the eyes and smiled once again. "I'm sorry for burdening you with my problems."

I kissed his forehead softly. "It's no burden at all. I'm just worried about you. I love you."

"I love you too... Hajime-kun" He placed his arms around my waist.

My face heated up a little at him saying my given name. "Hajime-kun?" I asked a little confused.

His smile remained as he pressed his forehead against mine. "Can I call you that sometimes?" He asked pouting his lips like a child who wanted money for candy.

I sighed at his expression. "I suppose so, but not in front of the others."

He smiled delightfully. "That's no fun."

"I don't care whether you have fun or not, Nagito" I smirked as I said his given name.

He giggled a little bit before pressing his lips to mine softly. After a few seconds of mindless kissing I separated us. He gave me a disappointed look when I let go of him.

I dragged my way over to my desk and proceeded to sit back down and eat my granola bar. Komaeda stood above me and let his face rest in my hair as I ate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a cliffhanger! I sure hope Hinata can overcome his breakfast!
> 
> I'm planning to go back on the normal schedule of uploading every other day hopefully. If I miss a day than it's due to exhaustion and it will be uploaded the following day.


	10. I knew it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Komaeda doesn't make an appearance in this chapter. He will be in the next one though.

Well here I am repeatedly tapping my pencil against my desk. It’s now two weeks since I lost my virginity. We haven’t had sex or have done anything sexual since then, I don’t know why. Maybe we’re too scared to try again. I also might have told Nanami about it indirectly. She was wondering why Komaeda was acting strange that night and I told her we did “stuff”. She gave me a weird look until she must have figured it out because a second later she was blushing and couldn’t talk to me without stuttering. She excused herself back to her dorm, but seemed to be alright a day later. I don’t even know why I said anything.

Anyway, it’s Friday and I’m in class. I’m not really concentrating on class though. I’m too worried about the ultimate despair. Komaeda is still living in my room and I’m kind of getting anxious about it. He told me not to worry about it, but how can I help myself from doing just that? The first step is to figure out who the hell this person is and I’m pretty sure I have a good guess. My name is Hajime Hinata and I have about four suspects.

The first is the most obvious choice: Junko Enoshima. Yes one of the biggest names in this school is my prime suspect. Why? That’s obvious. Komaeda scowls whenever her name is mentioned and then spouts his usual nonsense. He’s not very good at hiding his anger. I’m not stupid, I know it’s her. Or I’m at least 75% sure.

My second choice is Ikusaba Mukuro. She’s Junko Enoshima’s twin sister. I always see her around her sister, but she’s very quiet. She could be hiding something. 

My third choice is Mikan Tsumiki. The nurse is always following Enoshima around and would do anything just for Enoshima to glance in her direction. 

My fourth choice would be Enoshima’s boyfriend if someone would confirm my suspicion that she has a boyfriend. That boyfriend would be the Ultimate Neurologist, Yasuke Matsuda who was rumored to be admired by Enoshima.

As you can see all of my suspects revolve around Junko Enoshima. The others are more of a “if Junko Enoshima isn’t it” kind of guess. Yeah so I’m just going to say it’s her. Why would she take Komaeda’s key? I don’t know. Why would she want to bring Komaeda despair? I don’t know that either. 

That was the easy part. The hard part is figuring out how to get Ko’s key back and maybe get her to quit pestering him or whatever she does. I can’t just walk up to her and ask her why my boyfriend hates her, especially if it isn’t her at all. I also can’t go to Ko with my information because he would probably flip his shit knowing I was trying to crack this case. At the moment I feel like I only have one option; Go to Nanami for help. 

As if on cue the bell rang and all of the students in my class got up to leave. I did the same and headed down the hallway to where Nanami would be right now. Operation “Get my boyfriend back to his own room” starts now. We’ll start by avoiding Komaeda for a little while. Just until tonight. I pulled out my phone and shot him a quick text. “Hangin out with Souda for a while. Be back later”. 

I spotted Nanami walking down the hallway to meet Komaeda as per usual. I smiled to myself and put my phone away. I hurried my steps and grabbed her arm as gently as I could. The last time I grabbed her arm like this she hit me upside the head thinking I was a rapist. She turned around before she could raise her arm. She tilted her head to the side and gave me a confused look as other students ignored us and walked by. “Hinata-kun what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, well I guess it’s something, but could you come talk to me in private for a second?” I tried to sound nonchalant, but I really sounded like I was constipated instead. 

She nodded and followed to where I was dragging her. We went up the stairs and into the music room. It was empty except for a few band members taking apart their instruments. They paid no attention to us. We sat in a few chairs in the back of the room still panting from rushing up here.

“Now can you tell me what’s wrong?” She sounded a little impatient. She probably was going into withdrawal from being away from her game for so long.

I took a second to figure out what I wanted to say. “You remember how me and Ko are kind of living together, right?”

She looked at me blankly for a second. “…Are you two getting married-“

I groaned. “No it’s not that-“

“Are you two dropping out of school?”

“Can you please listen for a second?” I whined.

She nodded and grabbed for her game out of her bag.

I leaned in to whisper to her. “Well someone stole Komaeda’s key to his room and he refuses to tell me who. I have a lead on who had taken it from him.”

She paused what she was doing and turned back around to meet my gaze. “Someone took his key? Why?” She was just as quiet as I had been. 

“I don’t know. He said ‘she’ took it to bring him despair.” I put emphasis on the ‘she’ part.

She looked around the room uncomfortably. “Now Hinata-kun you know that sometimes he can get a bit… excited when it comes to hope or despair.” 

“I know, but that part doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I know who took it and I need a plan to get it back.” I rolled my eyes at explaining his situation. 

“…Alright how do you know who has taken his key?” She spoke slowly and looked uncomfortable. She must know that I want her involved in some way.

“Komaeda always freaks out when he mentions Junko Enoshima; he immediately starts ranting about hope when she’s involved. Komaeda also mentions ‘ultimate despair’ when she’s brought up. I think she took it.” I didn’t look at Nanami I didn’t want to see her face. Would she laugh? She might call me insane.

“Are you sure?” She was still quite and sounded like she was concentrating on something.

I finally faced her once again and nodded. 

She smiled and ruffled my hair. “I think it’s really cute that you care so much about your boyfriend.”

I felt the heat rise to my face and I looked away again. “Shut up. Can you maybe help me get his key back somehow?” My voice got quieter with every word I spoke. 

“Of course, but only if you’re one hundred percent sure.”

I gave her the most confident look I could come up with. “I am.” I’m actually not, but I am pretty sure.

“Alright then. If I have heard right Enoshima-san eats dinner late with her sister and Tsumiki; I would say maybe around six o’clock.” She paused and grabbed her phone out of her pocket. “Komaeda wants to know where I’m at. He says you’re with Souda?” Nanami gave me a blank stare.

I felt nervous with Nanami knowing that I lied to Komaeda. “I had to make something up quick. He doesn’t want me doing this sort of stuff.” 

Nanami rolled her eyes and typed something quick. 

“What are you saying?” I asked nervously.

“Nothing important.” 

I could feel my palms getting sweaty. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. “So uh, how do you know that stuff about Enoshima?”

“When we all have girl’s night Tsumiki never stops talking about her. Anything else she talks about she ends up stuttering.” Nanami finally released her gaming consol from her bag and hit the power button. 

“There’s a girl’s night?” I tilted my head a little.

“Sonia thinks we need to bond more. I really do appreciate the chance to talk about girl stuff though, no offense to you and Komaeda-kun of course.” She said quickly compared to how she usually talks.

I smiled and shook my head at her response. “None taken.”

She never took her eyes off of her game once as she explained her plan. “I think since Enoshima goes to the cafeteria around six you will go and make sure she doesn’t come back to her room. You don’t need to worry about the rest. Leave it to me.” She sounded confident enough.

“How will you get into her room though? What if she has the key on her?” I couldn’t help but wonder. Komaeda made her sound so dangerous.

“I told you… to leave it to me.” She yawned after saying what she needed to.

“Okay just be careful.” I looked around in case there was anyone looking our way.

She nodded. “What are we going to do until then?”

I brought my phone out and turned it on for a second. I then sighed. It’s only 3:47. “Want to an arcade or something?”

She looked up from her game and put her finger on her face like she was thinking. “Alright.” As soon as she said that she went back to her game.

I just sort of laughed to myself and got up from my seat.

It’s just about six o’clock now. I’m nervous and fidgeting where I’m standing, which would be right outside the cafeteria. I separated with Nanami earlier and she has made her way to Enoshima’s dorm room at least that’s what her text message said. Enoshima walked into the cafeteria with her sister and Tsumiki about five minutes ago. My job is to keep them away from Enoshima’s room until Nanami is done.

I took a deep breath and opened the door. I walked in and went over to get some food for myself. I didn’t eat dinner yet so I might as well now. There weren’t a lot of students in here right now they all usually come around five. I looked over my shoulder to see Enoshima and her crew at their usual table. 

I grabbed a grilled cheese and sat by myself at our class’s table. As I picked up my sandwich I turned my phone on to see Nanami’s text. “Might be a few minutes.”

I sighed and took a bite. I chewed cautiously. I don’t know why I’m so afraid of a teenage girl. I snuck a glance over at her and her eyes met mine. I instantly stopped chewing. I tried to break eye contact but I just couldn’t look away. She smiled and waved slowly at me. I waved back and turned my head back around. I felt my hands shaking. Damn you Komaeda for making me so paranoid.

When I was about halfway through eating the same person I’ve been watching must have decided that I looked lonely. She smiled as she walked to the seat across from me and sat down. I looked over to her sister and Tsumiki, they were still there and they both looked at me as if they were studying me. I put my food down and stared blankly at her.

“You don’t usually come to eat his late.” She said calmly while resting her head on her chin.

I stayed quiet for a few seconds. I didn’t know what to say to her. “Um, yeah I just really needed to study.” 

Her smile widened a little bit. “But it’s Friday.” 

I swallowed and looked around. “They say that the more you study the smarter you become.” I said surprisingly confidently after a few seconds.

“I guess you’re right, but I would rather study the night before so it would be fresh in my mind.” She spoke in a different tone and seemed to change her posture before settling back to her original position. It’s really like she has multiple personalities. “Where’s your boyfriend?” She said seemingly out of nowhere.

I flinched at what she said. “Um he’s uh, not my boyfriend.” I said looking to the side.

She looked at me for a second before laughing. She laughed like it was the funniest thing she’s ever heard. “Oh are you embarrassed to be around him? I don’t blame you. That hope obsessed freak really gets on my nerves, y’know?” She spoke in a different tone again.

I suddenly felt my nervousness being replaced with anger. I tried my best to keep it in. “He’s not a freak, and I’m not embarrassed to be around him.”

She tilted her head to the side and kept her grin. She let her head rest in her folded hands. “You say that now, but before you refused to acknowledge that he’s your boyfriend.” 

That made me feel really guilty. Does he think I’m embarrassed? I looked down and stayed quiet. 

She giggled quietly to herself. “Come on now don’t be upset with me. I even know how you feel. He and I are really close friends. We tell each other secrets; we have sleepovers, y’know usual best friend kind of stuff.” She smiled to herself and watched me closely.

I could only just stare at her. She’s bluffing. Komaeda gave me a look like he hated her. I might be mistaken. Maybe he wasn’t talking about her at all. Maybe she isn’t the ‘ultimate despair’ after all. Are they actually ‘best friends’? “No… He doesn’t like you.” I looked back up in shock at what I said. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.

She still continued to smile despite what I said. She looked down and pulled out her cell phone. After about a half of a minute she shows me her phone. I felt my eyes go wide and my mouth fall slightly open at what I seen. It was a picture, a ‘selfie’ to be exact. Enoshima had taken the picture it seemed. She was kissing Komaeda… or he was kissing her. He didn’t look like he hated it; he actually looked like he was enjoying himself. She had taken the picture away from me as quickly as it appeared and put her phone back in her purse. She giggled at my expression. “He called it a ‘friend kiss.’”

I felt dizzy. When did that kiss happen? Why did he never tell me about that? Why did he never tell me about Junko Enoshima? Were they a thing? I thought we were both new at relationships. Is that why he’s so good at kissing? Because he had plenty of practice on… I buried my face in my hands and let out a breath I had been holding in. It felt like my heart hurt. Then I heard laughter from across from me.

“You look so hopeless right now! If only that freak could see his ‘boyfriend’ without any hope at all! Isn’t despair a beautiful feeling? I adore it!” She giggled with every word. She’s laughing over my despair… She’s the exact opposite of Komaeda. They say opposites attract…

I suddenly decided to get up from my seat. I refused to look at her. I turned around and walked slowly to the cafeteria doors I paid no attention to anything else. After I exited the double doors I sprinted to my dorm room. 

I stopped when I saw Nanami. “Are you alright? You look like you’re sick.” She looked worried.

I shook my head and gave her a small smile. “I’m okay…”

She scowled at me. She knew I was lying. “…Anyway here’s Komaeda’s key. It was in her dresser.”

I’m kind of disappointed that she found it. Maybe he gave it to her. I tried to smile a little more as I raised my hand to get the key. She pulled her hand back. “First, what’s wrong?” 

I coughed into my hand. “Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me.” She was stern and her scowl stayed strong.

“Enoshima… She k-kissed Komaeda.” I felt my voice crack as I said it. There was a lump in my throat and my eyes were stinging. I’m using all of my energy to keep myself from crying over something that isn’t even that big of a deal.

Her scowl softened. She looked surprised at what I said. “She’s lying to you.”

I shook my head and buried my face in my hands. “She showed me a picture.”

She was quiet. After a moment I felt her arms around me. I removed my hands from my face and hugged her back. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. “Komaeda would never do anything to hurt you. This must have been before you two got together. He isn’t like that.” Her voice was soft. I nodded into her shoulder. I felt the stinging in my eyes stop. Thank goodness.


	11. Misunderstanding

After me and Nanami let go of each other she handed the key to me. I had taken it and put it in the back pocket on my pants. I glanced at her face for a second before looking away from her. Her face had held pity on it; pity for me. My name is Hajime Hinata and I had recently discovered that my boyfriend has been keeping secrets from me.

“Would you like to talk?” Nanami asked softly. I remained looking away from her.

I had taken a breath to steady myself. “No I just want to go to my room… to where Komaeda is.” I want to go lay down, but I don’t want to see Komaeda right now. I’m sure this is all a big misunderstanding or something, but I don’t know what to do right now. I feel… hopeless. 

“You don’t have to see him… I can text him to come see me and I can talk to him. I can also give him his key if you want.” Nanami sounded more tired than usual. I fidgeted a little at her words.

I kind of wanted to take her offer, but I also don’t want Komaeda to know about what we’ve done today. “It’s alright Nanami; I’ll take care of it. I’ll text you later alright?” I finally look back up to her. 

She looks skeptical at what I’ve said but she nods anyway. “…Alright, but please do what will give you the least amount of stress.” She yawns and then turns and walked in the opposite direction to where I’m going without waiting for me to reply.

I mindlessly watched her walk away. I was motionless and still didn’t know what to do. I glanced down at the key in my hand. It shined in the hall light and I felt like it was mocking me. The name tag on the key ring clearly said “Nagito Komaeda” and I didn’t know if I should be angry or relieved that we found it. 

I squeezed my eyes shut thinking that maybe it would give me a solution on how to deal with it, but nothing came to me. I sighed and opened my eyes again. Maybe I should just forget about this little incident. It’s not a big deal that Komaeda had kissed a girl before. It’s all in the past anyway, right? I’m not his mom why should I care? Junko Enoshima is just a crazy ex-girlfriend who stole his stuff, nothing I should care about. I’m his boyfriend now she isn’t anything special to Komaeda now. Yeah that’s right!

I somehow managed to pick myself up from my little “I don’t care” speech I made in my head. I put on the cheeriest smile I could think of and walked the way to my dorm. 

I could see Souda down the hallway to my dorm and I gave him a little wave to show that everything is okay. He shot me a confused glance. “You’re surprisingly chipper today, what happened?” He asked.

I frowned a little but picked myself back up. “I just don’t care today, man!” I sounded more deranged than happy. I think I’m trying too hard on this “I don’t care” attitude.

He looked even more confused and a little scared. “Alright then, uh, just let me know if anything’s up alright Hinata?” He sounded concerned and I knew he didn’t believe whatever I just said.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and pressed on towards my room. Souda didn’t try to say anything else.

I finally found my dorm and pulled my own key out of my pocket. My heartbeat was speeding up and I tried to calm it down by breathing deeply, but that just made me kind of dizzy. I put my key in the lock and twisted. I closed my eyes for another second before opening the door.

At first there was silence. Then after a few seconds, “Hinata-kun, are you alright?” That smooth voice gave me that same fuzzy feeling I get every time I hear it. 

I opened my eyes to see Komaeda lounging on my bed and watching my television. His hand was playing with his fluffy white hair. Well he was watching the television until I opened the door. Now he’s watching me with curiously. I put on my “I don’t care” façade and smiled. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He watched me in silence for a little bit longer until his expression softened and he shrugged. “You just seem a little stiff that’s all.” He still kept his eyes on me. “How was Souda today?”

I gave him a confused look.

He raised his eyebrow in confusion to my confusion. “You two hung out today?” He asked suspiciously.

I almost slapped myself at how stupid I was. “Oh yeah! Uh he’s doing alright, just talking about his rocket ship plans again.” I tried to shrug off my stupidity and went to sit at my desk. 

He didn’t seem to buy it. He sat up and got off the bed. “Hinata-kun if something happened you can-“

I cut him off but pulling his key out of my uniform pocket and dropped it on my desk. I stared at him blank; my façade was gone. He stared right back at me. He didn’t seem to know how to react. He knew it wasn’t the key that I already had of his. His face showed surprise then confusion and then back to surprise.

“Where did you get that?” Komaeda’s voice was calm, but I could tell he was nervous.

I broke eye contact and looked down at the key on the desk. I opened my mouth but no sound came out. I could feel his eyes on me. I couldn’t say anything; I was afraid to. I reach out and grabbed the key on the desk. I still didn’t look up, but I held the key out to him. “Please…” My voice was shaking and I don’t even really know what I’m asking for. I could feel my eyes stinging. Why am I going to cry over this? It isn’t even a big deal! I should have known he would pick an ultimate over me any day.

I felt his hand gently grab my outstretched one. He didn’t take the key he just held his hand over mine. “Hajime-kun…”

I looked up only to see his face in front of mine. In the next moment his lips were on mine. I closed my eyes and I felt tears slip out of them. He lowered my hand back onto the table and I let go of the key. He then brought my hand to his chest and held it there. He pulled back off of my lips and brought his other hand to wipe away some of my tears. “I told you not to go near her.” His voice was quiet as if it were any louder he’d scare me away. 

I looked back down to my lap. “I’m sorry. I just needed to know.” I could see the picture Junko Enoshima showed me in my head. I need to know how he feels about her. “Do you… lo-…like her?” I looked back up to see him scowling as if I offended him.

“No, and I never will either, but… Her despair can bring others hope and we... I know you don’t understand hope like I do, but just understand that I hate her.” He calmed himself before he could start one of his hope tirades. “Did you… talk to her?” 

“Yes… Nanami snuck into her room and that’s how I got your key. She showed me a picture of you two…” He remained angry looking but pulled me into a hug. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rubbed my back. His hair was tickling the side of my face. My arms dangled at my side. 

“I thought friends kissed each other. You taught me differently though.” I smiled despite my tears and buried my face into his shoulder.

“I thought you hated her?” I asked quietly.

“She’s very… manipulative. She made me believe that her despair brought others hope and that we could work together. I thought we were friends, but I could never be friends with someone like her.” He continued to rub my back. I nodded at his answer. I felt satisfied even though I didn’t really understand. I should have known he didn’t like her. I can’t help my doubts though. 

“I love you Nagito.” His grip tightened around my waist.

“I love you too… Did we just have our first fight?” He asked curiously.

I laughed a little bit and pulled my arms up to wrap around his shoulders. “No dummy we weren’t even mad at each other.”

He giggled and pulled me closer. “I’m not a dummy.”


End file.
